First and foremost, I want to have anyone who is reading this blog to take time and pray for Haiti. It has been one year, but there is still many years of restoration to come. May God move us to remember that Love is still a worthy cause, no matter how broken and out of control. This day should be in remembrance of them, and a day to actively seek God with them.
Sorry for the day late post.
Everyone who posted a song, I want to thank you. By the end of my workout, I was a little confused why I was done, because I had some sweet songs!! Keep posting them, it is truly encouraging to hear those songs!
Now, I want to comment on a few things first. Yesterday It was pretty darn easy to go work out. I am not sure why (probably because it is leg day for lifting, and I really enjoy that!). It was nice to just go to the Wellness Center, even though things with school are a little crazy (after all it could be my last semester at the campus of UND).
For all of you wondering, what else am I doing besides working out, I am putting myself on a healthier diet... Meaning, I am essentially cutting out terrible things I use to eat. I actually feel lively now, all because I am eating more fruit, yogurt, protein, and limiting my diary intake and actually moving around... It feels good for now!
Now, I want to end with a few things that I am learning right now. Yesterday although seemed great, still had it's hardship. I realized I had to ask myself, why am I doing this. Why am I trying to be fit, and active and invest in my health... I pray it is not because I want to look the part, or to fit into a mold of how I am suppose to be or any of the sort. Too often we jump into something fully... Half hearted. We believe that we must look this way to get something, to achieve something, to be somebody... So I am challenging myself to realize that this should not be for anybody. I do not need to look a certain way to appease anyone. A song keeps running through my head. It is Sara Groves- This Journey is my own:
When I stand before the Lord, I’ll be standing alone
This journey is my own
Still I want man’s advice, and I need man’s approval
This journey is my own
Why would I want to live for man, and pay the highest price
What does it mean to gain a whole world, only to lose my life
So much of what I do is to make a good impression
This journey is my own
And so much of what I say is to make myself look better
But this journey is my own
And why would I want to live for man, and pay the highest price
And what does it mean to gain a whole world, only to lose my life
And I have never felt relief like I feel it right now
This journey is my own
Cuz trying to please the world, it was breaking me down
It was breaking me down
And now I live and I breathe for an audience of one
Now I live and I breathe for an audience of one
Now I live and I breathe for an audience of one
Cuz I know this journey is my own
And why would I want to live for man, and pay the highest price
And what does it mean to gain a whole world, only to lose my life
And you can live for someone else, and it will only bring you pain
I can’t even judge myself, only the Lord can say, ‘Well done.’
Oh, this journey is my own
NOW, I know the song is old school in the sense of how it sounds, but it is powerful testimony to my call to follow Christ in this decision to break away from my desire to look like the world, and instead work through the freedom Christ is determined to give me. This decision was to not be made by a desire to fulfill a societal image, but instead to find healing and freedom in Christ.
So, some things I need to be honest about- I am not always the most honest person. I am still trying to be open about the struggles that I am often going through. I still am battling the desire to fit the mold of an image that is cast onto me. As many of you know I am pretty different, and typically can beat to my own drum, but there are some days when beating to my own drum can wear me down.
Some things to pray about- I have 3 internship opportunities, 1 in Duluth MN, 1 in the Twin Cities and 1 here in Grand Forks. Just pray that I take the best opportunity. Next is just continue to pray with me through this process of healing and getting healthy! It is exciting and hard!
God Bless,
Casey
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. ~Marianne Williamson
ReplyDeleteCasey,
In sociology they would tell us that we define ourselves through our relationships and interactions with others, how other view us is how we inherently define ourselves "the looking glass self". I believe this to a bit of a trap.
Anyone who knows you at all knows that you "Dance to the beat of your own drum".
You constantly affirm your belief in god through both word and action.
Think of this endeavor as an affirmation of self; that you are willingly, openly, and freely striving to become the best (most healthy) person you can be.
In Hoc,
Thomas James