Why we CAN Afford to get Hell Wrong

Lately, this argument about Heaven and Hell has gotten shallow. Our arguments have turned to this finger pointing mockery of our brothers and sisters in Christ… There are two books that are schedule to come out soon, one is by a pastor that I admire for his courage to step away from his church. That pastor is Francis Chan, whose book is called Erasing Hell. The whole point of the book is that we have to re-examine . The second book is really by a pastor whom I have never heard of, but his book is titled “God Wins- The truth about Heaven, Hell and how the good news is better than Love Wins”…. How shallow is that. When did we forget that we are a body, and when did we start being the mouth.

I am discouraged. Not because these pastors are taking on this subject, but because they are attempting to only allow their understanding of scripture to be the right one. When we shape our thinking in only one way, when we define God to a point in which we believe we understand everything about God, we are clearly misunderstanding everything there is to know about God, even if we say phrases that convince others and even ourselves that we don't have God figured out. There are going to be things that we can’t even begin to fathom, so why try to force your own theological theory about topics that have little to do with salvation. I mean, when Jesus called the disciples, did Jesus give them a multiple choice test on certain theology, and if they failed, they would not cut it? I love this quote:

“We evangelicals tend to colonize the text, make Scripture our own possession and in effect make the words of Scripture an idolatry. As a result, we have become a controlling, uninviting, judgmental people losing the ability to encounter the living God and inviting others into such an encounter. We know Scripture but we are untouched by it and so we are insulated from God who seeks to reveal Himself in and through it.”-David Fitch

I am going to not try to use scripture to defend my argument, because in all honesty, I don’t believe we use scripture to win arguments or strengthen our opinions…. No, scripture is meant solely as our insight to Christ, and our defense against worldly living. I believe scripture has power, but even the demons and Satan use scripture to battle…Do we worry about that ever?

The crux of my argument here is that all of us CAN afford to get hell wrong. We can afford to get it wrong because no matter what hell is or isn’t, Christ has disarmed it, is victorious over it, has defeated it, has made a mockery of it, and most importantly made a clear point that states that we are to storm the gates. Our message about sending people to hell, and defining hell does us no good. Our enemy is not the various theologies of hell, our enemy is oppression, darkness, evil, wickedness,  anything that even attempts to rob us of God, and not even pastors who preach that they hope every person goes Heaven..

The doctrine of Hell does not matter to your salvation, and this goes out to all my friends who are new Christians, agnostics and atheists… Because our message is not about destruction, our message is a story of pure love! The Good News is that Jesus has come for you, and is not willing that you shall perish, but often we don’t choose God whom has chosen us through the life, death and resurrection of Christ.

How much money do we waste consuming all of this. I am even at fault. As of 2:15 am May 23rd, 2011 there have been 417,294 suicides this year, as of 2:18 am May 23rd, 2011 there have been 654,177 deaths caused by HIV/AIDS this year, and today alone by 2:20 am May 23rd, 2011 there have been 3,017 deaths due to hunger (2 hours and twenty minutes). We have time to discuss what hell is like, but yet we don’t have time to fight it? Hell has come now, and it has disguised itself as hopeless, painful suffering, life eating, soul sucking misery. Hell is not some far off distant land. Hell is here, trying to convince all of us that the life of mass consumption, self indulgence, self-preservation, minimal community interaction and so many other fleeting feelings and lies are true. We spend so much time saying who can go to Heaven, that we forget that our neighbors are experiencing hell right now.

Just the other day, I listen as a teenager explains to me their personal hell they are going through with their addictions. A few weeks ago, I listen to a close friend share with me some deep pain about his current relationship. Just a while ago, I got to hear about the personal hell of a rape victim.

You ask me why I think it is shallow for us to be defining hell; my answer is because it does no good for the people who are already experiencing hell right now. Jesus told Peter to storm the gates of hell because they can’t prevail against the church… When did we lose sight of this imagery? When did we stop kicking down the walls of child brothels? When did we stop holding the hands of the hopeless? When did we stop mourning with a friend who lost a child to cancer? When did we start thinking that evil and wickedness and treating each other as dumber or satan disguised as light was Christ like? When did we become shallow?

I don’t believe Rob Bell is 100% right. I do believe that Rob Bell believes in Jesus Christ, and the Jesus is whom Mr. Bell strives to be like. I have read his book. I don’t believe Francis Chan is 100% right. I do believe that Francis Chan believes in Jesus Christ and the Jesus is whom Mr. Chan strives to be like. I will probably read his book.

But in all of this we must remember that God’s ways are not like our ways. If God chooses to do something different than what I have been taught to believe about hell, than that is under God’s direction. But at the same time God is not going to teach us about Love and Justice and Compassion just to turn around and do the opposite. To all my conservative Christian friends, this is not even a hint at universalism, I believe there is a hell and God takes NO pleasure in having anyone there, but this is a hint that God is teaching us about Love and Justice and Compassion, and we can’t discredit the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives, we can’t afford to miss the good news of the Gospel for our shallow understanding of the afterlife.

Your job as a Christians is to stop defining God, and start living with God. When you read about the day of judgment in Matthew 25, God does not say to the righteous that because they had such great defined doctrine and that they could define hell clearly and have a clear image of what the Bible says and because they took everything literally that they get into Heaven… No, far from that, God looks at how they lived out their faith. You see, salvation is not contingent on your works, but your belief in God is shown through your works. Gal 5:6b”…for the only thing that matters is faith expressing itself through love.”

I have wasted so much time being absorbed by this debate. May we stop that, and may we start being absorbed in the Mercy, Justice and Humility we find in Christ, and may we in turn do that very thing to others.

Much Love.
Casey

Love.Wins.

What we really believe is evidenced by how we live, not by what we say.- Donald Miller

What a powerful quote in a dangerous era, isn’t it? In a time where everything in life is so up and arms, anything we say (even if it is in support or in condemnation) is up for scrutiny. Everything is examined and nothing is neutral. Nothing is ever able to be neutral.

I got the chance to spend the weekend with some very awesome kids. Shout out to Five Oaks Youth Homies!! “umm, yeaaa word, sing it out now, Kirk Franklin in the House.”  And let me tell you, there is very little joy in life when compared to spending a weekend with 78 youth and 12 adult leaders at a conference.

Before I went on the trip, I had a pretty tough week with some things going on. As many people know, life is NOT easy by any means, not even for an old pastor’s kid like me. I find everyday just as challenging as the day before, but for some reason, this past week was just hard.

Some folks all around the community had begun to share stories with me. They are very graphic stories, so please be aware of that before reading them. (No worries, I will keep them short)

Story Number one: Delinquent. A young lady was put on probation. Most people would think that it was because she was a delinquent, always getting into trouble. She was known for using drugs, for skipping class, for the occasional thievery. In those terms, it is clear to me, she has done wrong in her life. On the outside we see what she has done wrong. But in her home life, and the reason she is now seeing a probation officer is because her mother would prostitute her out to male drug dealers so that she could get her high. One would hope this would never happen, or if it did, only once… Try nearly once a week for more years than I am willing to admit.

Story Number two: Rape. Fear has this interesting way of capturing a person’s life. It can make you submit too many things, and for this daughter, it was her father. Her father was known by the town as this great man. He was wealthy and loveable, but to his daughter, he was this demonic addict who in the flip of a switch continued to ruin her life. Most nights were fine, but when he went out on the town, he came home, late, and rape his daughter. The worst part is, the judge gave the man special considerations and accommodations, I guess the judge did his part to help the wealthy man out because the wealthy did his part to make sure that judge was re-elected.

Story Number three: Suicide. This is sensitive subject. There has been a drastic increase in numbers of suicides nationally. The 3rd leading cause of death for teenagers is suicides. There are 1800 suicide attempts made a day by teenagers. The worst part is not reading these statistics, the worst part is when you see the faces of these statistics every day. The hardest part of this topic is listening to parents question everything in their life because they had to bury the freshmen in college, with no explanation as to why it happened.

Story Number four: Self-Mutilation. Choking, burning, cutting… I remember hearing a story about a young man who hated every aspect of his life. His family life was broken, his friends were all around him, but yet he was lost. He tried hard to impress every person, but yet never could. So he began to cut his inner thigh and began starving himself, because he felt ugly, he felt lowly and he felt useless.

Story Number five: Divorce. This was a hard one. The father left the mother for some young girl. The mother is now raising 3 kids all on her own. I have never met a more bitter woman, but I have also never seen a mother invest instantly into her daughters lives, never seen a mother take on both of the roles of parenthood, and I would have to say, never seen a mother find joy as much as she has admitted to.

You see, today I am not here to tell you how messed up our world is, no, in fact that would be an understatement. You see, if I stopped there, and just shared these depressing stories with you, what would I be doing? If I shared these stories with you, only to show you “why” we need love in this world, I would be missing the point.

Love desires to destroy sin. And it is ruthless in doing so. The love I am talking about can only be found in Christ. You see without Christ, all we have hope for in this world is that someday, we will be dead, in the ground and never have to worry about that pain happening to us again. For as long as we live we will carry the weight of that pain on our shoulders, no matter how well we suppress it. Please do not go another day thinking you are alone in this world.

I have four things I want to say in closing:
1)      Do not be afraid to feel what you are going through. I am honored to meet with a lot of people in my day, trust me, I am NOT a counselor nor am I an expert, I still have SO much to learn, I am only a listener and sometimes I can say things, but when I meet with these people I get to hear their stories. There is nothing better in life then when I get to hear these stories, partially because I get to see what they are feeling. The reason I say this is because I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I hear people say sorry for crying (I say it too) or being angry or just frustrated. The best thing for a human soul is to be honest and to not fear what you are feeling. That is the worst for you. When you push all those feelings deep down, you become drained faster than you could ever imagine! Be honest about what you are going through, and if you feel angry or sad or want to cry, do it! NEVER EVER be afraid to feel what you are going through, to address your feelings. It is ok to cry out to God, to beg why!
2)      Live out sacrificial Love. Suffering is happening ALL around us right now, but God finds infinite worth in His creation, so I beg all of us to do the same. If God is ruthless against evil and ruthless against sin, and is destroying it, may we also do the same. May we join with Christ in the ministry of mercy, justice, peace and reconciliation. When we hear stories and statistics like this, may we be moved not to just pray but to action as well. Sacrifice for the cause of Love. Join in mission with Christ.
3)      You are NOT alone. PLEASE if you take anything away just know that you are not alone. Christ is with you, and in the moments you do not recognize Him, may you realize that the community is desiring to surround you, to be with you in the moments you want to cry in your closet, to the moments you are jumping with joy. You are not alone in what you are going through. Many others have a journey like yours. Don’t take this journey alone, share it with others who want to be a part of your life.
4)      Bring Joy into their lives. Christ came to party. Christ came to hang out, to be joyous, to enjoy the company of others. Christ is singing and dancing. Tony Campolo shares a great story about throwing a birthday party for a prostitute in a restaurant years ago. The prostitute never had a birthday party before, and Tony and the people he was with decided it was time she had one! So they decorated the place, made a cake and sang to her, all while inviting all the people she knew. It is a beautiful story about how God wants us to bring joy into other people’s lives. Through parties for them. Enjoy their company, laugh with them! Life is not all serious. If all you have to offer a person is a few words and a bowl of soup, that is not enough! BRING LOVE AND JOY into the lives of people!

I say all of this with great Love for people. But know my Love is not as great as what God is offering you every moment. I want you to know freedom, but I can’t give it to you.

May you experience joy in your life, because each of us are suffering in a way, hidden or out in the open. May we show what we believe about our God by the way we live.

I leave you with this Psalm:
Psalm 3
A psalm of David, regarding the time David fled from his son Absalom.
 1 O Lord, I have so many enemies;
      so many are against me.
 2 So many are saying,
      “God will never rescue him!”
                         Interlude

 3 But you, O Lord, are a shield around me;
      you are my glory, the one who holds my head high.
 4 I cried out to the Lord,
      and he answered me from his holy mountain.
                         Interlude

 5 I lay down and slept,
      yet I woke up in safety,
      for the Lord was watching over me.
 6 I am not afraid of ten thousand enemies
      who surround me on every side.

Stress

I would be lying if I did not say I was stressed out right now. But in the end, I have found I am stressed because I am not patient. I am not taking my time to enjoy what I am going through. I am rushing through everything and attempting to live at the same time.

Seriously, look my my schedule... I have everything planned out, almost to when I would even be going to the bathroom and where. Talk about boring. I have found my stress comes when things are not going to plan. I CANNOT BELIEVE I AM A PLAN GUY! I grew up despising those people and thinking little of them... Now I have ALL the respect in the world for them.

BUT I am beginning to change from that. I mean, do not get me wrong, I am very adaptable, however, I get stressed if it is my plan we have to go from. ESPECIALLY when I can't do something because of my scdeule. It was a CRAZY week.

However, I am learning again how to find God. It sounds simple to think about, but it is a moment by moment thing. Yes, I gave my life to Christ when I was 8, but I have been fighting for years to still know Him.

Keep prayin. Working out it great! Let me know how you need prayer or encouragment!

God Bless,
Casey

Long LONG day!

Today was just too long. I had so much I had to do. It reminded me of the days I was running away from! I sadly could not work out tonight, and the pain in my back is slowly coming back.

However I am still optimistic! I can still do this!!

On a happier note, I get a break from Grand Forks this weekend with a trip to the cities! I can't wait!

Sorry for the short post, but just wanted to update!

Level of Confidence

Man, was I sore and tired today after last nights work out! I am excited to get this week done with. SOO many things happening! (Also, as a point of confession, I hate dealing with the parking ticket office, by the end of the conversation, I had no clue what I was saying anymore or what I am suppose to do. Not to mention I probably did something illegal to begin with... JEEPERS!!)

Anywho.

This will be a short update. I need some recipes. I am starting to become a little more adventurous, plus I plan out my meals! So that is fun.

I still have a lot to learn in life. And that is sometimes the hardest part. I wonder what am I suppose to be doing, or what should I be doing. It is not an easy thing to do.

I will say this, I am starting to enjoy the mystery of life more. I still have a lot to learn.

More importantly, I am learning a lot about behavior. I am learning that relapsing in old habits is normal and expected. To think that one can stop cold turkey without relapse is only going to lead to a lot of guilt. I think that is where my heart is trying to work out right now. I am dealing with all the gunk inside my life that I have built up for years. I am recognizing Christ more in some ways. Some days, I recognize Christ as right next to me, and other days (sometimes in long stints) I can barely even remember Christ and what Christ's Love truly means. I just have to battle through that.

Thank you all for the support! let me know how I can pray for you!

-Casey

It is what it is!

I took my first day off. I was not feeling well, I was exhausted, and I had some aches. I sadly woke up with them too. I was informed to just take a small break, as long as you promise yourself to get back into it. They also told me that being Healthy is not about getting to the gym every moment, but resting, eating right, and challenging yourself.

Welp, as much as it pains me to say that I feel defeated after not going last night, I am happy to tell you my small victories. I usually play cards, but when I do, I usually eat just tons of terrible food for you. Last night, I had dinner after my financial class, and I am pumped to say that when I went to play cards, I had 4 Bagel crisps bites, one peach-O and one chocolate turtle... Usually it is MUCH more!! It was proud mostly because I chose to drink water too! usually it is some sugary drink. The best part was, it was as if it were natural for me to ask for water! It just felt good!

Now, I am taking the Dave Ramsey Financial University class, and I must say, even after the first lesson, I am pumped! My mind is already changing, and I hope my actions follow! Plus, I LOVE the support! All of you should consider being a part of it!!

Anywho, Enjoy your day, and  if you are in the tundra of ND... STAY WARM!!!

God Bless,
Casey

Wowzers.... Sore.

Today, I admit, last night was a hard work out. I had to stick with aerobic, because I was exhausted and had some aches, and it was suggested that I be careful with my shoulder.

Back story- I have a bad shoulder and knee.

Anywho, moral of the story is, be patient. I am learning about patience right now. I am learning that when I look in the mirror I need to look at myself, and not the image of what I "should" be. In the end, that seems to be worthless. When I look in the mirror I am learning that I am constantly being me. What else is greater than that... Nothing. Even though I felt like such a slacker, I realized the whole moral of the story is not to starve myself, or to run until I lose ten pounds, the story is about all this healing that I need. ON the outside, I was fine, but on the inside, God only knows what was going on. See, I am taking active steps toward Christ, and finding out what I was really missing out on.... It is not easy.

I am realizing though, that life is better lived, being honest, not just about how I feel but about who I am!

I am sore today, and tired... it is has been a long day... But I am alive. I am well. I am thankful!

Let me know how I can be prayin for yaw!

God Bless,
Casey

Count on me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwMvlNLV8ZU

I am typically not a fan of Hip-Hop (partially because I tend to break into random dance), but this is a catchy song. I really appreciate it too!

Last night was aerobic and legs... Needless to say, "going hard" for the last 5 minutes exhausted me. It killed me it seemed, but yet, I am looking forward to another day of going to the gym. I must admit, that I am pretty dang tired, but this week is flyin by, and pretty soon, I can say I have two weeks done... TWO WEEKS!!!

Apart from this, I will be also taking a Financial class with my church. I am interested seeing that I have no clue what the next year of my life will bring. I pray I am following the leading of Christ, and that I am involved with a job that I am passionate about.

Now, what I am asking for these next few days are some good and cheap recipes! I have been eating healthier food, but I am ready for some new meals!! Although, I am still in love with Chicken and Rice!!

Let me know how I can be praying for you! Send me an e-mail, leave a comment or text!

Much Love
Casey

E-Mail- casey.s.hayden@gmail.com
Cell- 651-470-4967

New Week, New Plan

First, I will admit, I was not AS healthy as I wanted to be this weekend, but, I will say, it is the first time in a LONG time that it was in moderation. That is a huge plus. Not to mention, I borrowed a projector this weekend, some may think it was the worst idea ever, I, on the other hand find it to be incredibly awesome. It was a great time of community and playing games from my High School years. Man did it rekindle my passion to play video games! Also we watched how to train your dragon... Talk about a tear jerker... It was great!

BUT Now a quick update! I worked out last night, and man did it kill! It seems that I was just down right exhausted after the work out. I decided to go a little harder in my aerobic part of the work out and it just killed me! However, I am blessed to say that I made it. I am finding a way were I am making time to work out and be healthy. I am making my lunch, and eating it all. I feel alert when I need to be and tired early so I am not up until the crack of dawn.

However, do not let me deceive you in saying that everything is going for me. I woke up with my first injury too. My lower back muscle (Gluteus Minimus/ or Lats) hurt really bad, thankfully they feel a million times better with a heating pad. Usually in the past I have been known to just stop working out, but not this time, I actually went and worked through the pain (ok, in reality I just was careful and was gentle with the muscle.)

I have learned something to add to this journey: "Freedom is not having everything we crave, it's being able to go without the things we crave and being OK with it. " — Rob Bell

I need to balance this more. As I am working out, am I working out to gain what I crave or am I doing this in order to learn more about being ok with who I am. I do not believe that God intended for me to have moments of gluttony, but I do believe that God has given me freedom to desire Him, and more importantly be ok with everything around me. I seem to be coming more involved with the concept of freedom as it leads me to peace.

God Bless.
Casey

The first week... Done.

"Step Four: We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." "But what we discover is this: If we do not use our present circumstances as a challenge, a trigger, and an invitation to look within, we will find ourselves dancing through a repeat performance." - (12 Steps) Melody Beattie

It was awesome to make it one whole week. I ended last night pretty easy! I ended my week perfectly fine. It was a good day. Sadly because of a hockey game, I will not be running tonight, but it is ok, because I for some reason am wanting to go work out (It actually feels strange to feel this way).

It has surely been a tough week, but I have already learned so much. I am starting to value more parts of my day. I have learned to enjoy A LOT already.

So to celebrate the fact that I made it a week, I even have eaten healthy food's in smarter proportions, I will take my Friday night meal and celebrate by having one not so great meal for ya! BUT I will not stuff myself with it!

Please keep praying with me as well! This is not an easy thing to have done, but it is the right thing!

Now I want to leave with one last comment and that is to learn with me something I am learning. I am learning about the mystery of Christ. Too often I have claimed something as a definite fact, and then learned something differently and gone with that. So now, I am going to start to embrace the mystery of Christ. There is so much to learn, yet so much that still remains a mystery. I think that is often my problem in life, I want the answer now, and I claim it as truth, but yet so many things change. I guess that is the importance of relationships with God and each other. It is really hard, but I am learning to find Christ more and more by embracing Him instead of teaching. I leave with a quote that is helping me to embrace the mystery:

I confess I find it suspect when Christian teaching is more concrete than Christ's teaching.- Donald Miller\

Also, check this out if you get a chance:
http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

God Bless,
Casey

Wow... I am pretty sore.

Last night was another great workout, it was also the hardest work out. I did 3 sets of 15 in nearly everything I did. I also did heavier weights and pushed myself. It was so hard, but I thought of everyone who is encouraging me, and it helped me. (I think I was curling like 400 LBS or something, I lost count)...

Anywho, I am extremely sore. I have forgotten about that part. But I still have a since of calm and joy even though today, for the first time I was going to a class, I wrote down the wrong room and have no clue where it is. But you get through.

Tonight's workout is legs again, and it will be high reps and heavier weights... It will be hard, but nice to know I can push through.

I have some thoughts for today. Lot's of things are going through my mind, especially ones of doubt. I am often known for starting what sounds like a great idea, but ends pretty poorly. Thus, why I am trying to be open about everything that I am going through right now for the support.

I am learning to make this journey my own. Which is often hard, I am so use to working with people that I forget a lot of my own personal drive. So today, I will leave you with a quote that has helped me many times:

Sam, on the verge of entering Mordor -

"We shouldn't be here at all, if we'd known more about it before we started. But I suppose it's often that way. The brave things in the old tales and songs, Mr. Frodo: adventures, as I used to call the...m. I used to think they that they were things the wonderful folk of the stories went out and looked for, because they wanted them, because they were exciting and life was a bit dull, a kind of sport, as you might say. But that's not the way of it with the tales that really mattered, or the ones that stay in the mind. Folk seem to have been just landed in them, usually--their paths were laid that way, as you put it. But I expect they had lots of chances, like us, of turning back, only they didn't. And if they had, we shouldn't know, because they'd have been forgotten. We hear about those as just went on--and not all to a good end, mind you; at least not to what folk inside a story and not outside it call a good end."(Lord of the Rings)

Much Love, feel free to send me prayer requests!

God Bless,
Casey

Running a little late

First and foremost, I want to have anyone who is reading this blog to take time and pray for Haiti. It has been one year, but there is still many years of restoration to come. May God move us to remember that Love is still a worthy cause, no matter how broken and out of control. This day should be in remembrance of them, and a day to actively seek God with them.

Sorry for the day late post.

Everyone who posted a song, I want to thank you. By the end of my workout, I was a little confused why I was done, because I had some sweet songs!! Keep posting them, it is truly encouraging to hear those songs!

Now, I want to comment on a few things first. Yesterday It was pretty darn easy to go work out. I am not sure why (probably because it is leg day for lifting, and I really enjoy that!). It was nice to just go to the Wellness Center, even though things with school are a little crazy (after all it could be my last semester at the campus of UND).

For all of you wondering, what else am I doing besides working out, I am putting myself on a healthier diet... Meaning, I am essentially cutting out terrible things I use to eat. I actually feel lively now, all because I am eating more fruit, yogurt, protein, and limiting my diary intake and actually moving around... It feels good for now!

Now, I want to end with a few things that I am learning right now. Yesterday although seemed great, still had it's hardship. I realized I had to ask myself, why am I doing this. Why am I trying to be fit, and active and invest in my health... I pray it is not because I want to look the part, or to fit into a mold of how I am suppose to be or any of the sort. Too often we jump into something fully... Half hearted. We believe that we must look this way to get something, to achieve something, to be somebody... So I am challenging myself to realize that this should not be for anybody. I do not need to look a certain way to appease anyone. A song keeps running through my head. It is Sara Groves- This Journey is my own:

When I stand before the Lord, I’ll be standing alone
This journey is my own
Still I want man’s advice, and I need man’s approval
This journey is my own

Why would I want to live for man, and pay the highest price
What does it mean to gain a whole world, only to lose my life

So much of what I do is to make a good impression
This journey is my own
And so much of what I say is to make myself look better
But this journey is my own

And why would I want to live for man, and pay the highest price
And what does it mean to gain a whole world, only to lose my life

And I have never felt relief like I feel it right now
This journey is my own
Cuz trying to please the world, it was breaking me down
It was breaking me down

And now I live and I breathe for an audience of one
Now I live and I breathe for an audience of one
Now I live and I breathe for an audience of one
Cuz I know this journey is my own

And why would I want to live for man, and pay the highest price
And what does it mean to gain a whole world, only to lose my life
And you can live for someone else, and it will only bring you pain
I can’t even judge myself, only the Lord can say, ‘Well done.’

Oh, this journey is my own

NOW, I know the song is old school in the sense of how it sounds, but it is powerful testimony to my call to follow Christ in this decision to break away from my desire to look like the world, and instead work through the freedom Christ is determined to give me. This decision was to not be made by a desire to fulfill a societal image, but instead  to find healing and freedom in Christ.

So, some things I need to be honest about- I am not always the most honest person. I am still trying to be open about the struggles that I am often going through. I still am battling the desire to fit the mold of an image that is cast onto me. As many of you know I am pretty different, and typically can beat to my own drum, but there are some days when beating to my own drum can wear me down.

Some things to pray about- I have 3 internship opportunities, 1 in Duluth MN, 1 in the Twin Cities and 1 here in Grand Forks.  Just pray that I take the best opportunity. Next is just continue to pray with me through this process of healing and getting healthy! It is exciting and hard!

God Bless,
Casey

The time has come

Welp, I started..... I wish I could say it was a great start. I started early at about 8:15 pm (so anxious...)


 I Actually dragged my feet. I am not sure what it was, but I just felt as if there was a lot going against me going into this. It was not a huge force, but I was at least able to fight through it and made it.

I Guess it is a blessing to say I made it through my first night of running and lifting.

I ended my night with blogging. I am about to go make my lunch for tomorrow (Chicken and Rice wrap with yogurt and water to drink, with a small bagging of something undecided.... I am actually excited!)

But more importantly I ended my night with a song that is really hitting home- Sometimes you can't make it on your own, by U2... It is hitting home because as I become further into this, I can't be hiding everything that I am going through. This is not just a get healthy kick, this is a time of reflection. Soon, I will have to decide what is going on after college. I am going to need a job, need a place to live, need a dog?... All I know is that there is a few road blocks, but many directions that must be explored.

The other huge reason I enjoyed that song is because I am surely realizing that I can't do this on my own. I need my friends and most importantly my family. It is a blessing to say I have a loving family.

So today's honesty, I do not want to do this, I am often comfortable hiding what I am really going through in my mind, but I know, Because Christ has died to set me free, I must truly be set free, even from the things I am hiding.

NOW, what I need from everyone is a song- Just send me a song or two so that I can listen to it while I am working out, or cooking, or walking to class. I need some of these songs to know that I have people around me, and so that I can be thinking about you all while I am doing any variety of tasks! ALSO, if you have a prayer request, e-mail me at casey.s.hayden@gmail.com

After writing this, i feel better! (Also if you get a chance, see Despicable me)

God Bless,
Casey

Monday at 9pm

It is going to be a hard journey. I usually get injured, and hurt myself, but this time, I am not going to allow myself to get fooled. I can't go one living the way I am, and attempt to feel healthy.

So, my challenge, pray with me, encourage me, and spur me on. Cause God knows I need it.

I want to do something different though, I want to be prayin with you all! I want you to help you as well. Please shoot me an e-mail, asking me to pray with you on a certain topic, or if you want to share a part of your journey with me, I would love that!

 (email: caseyshayden@gmail.com)


Please send me something you want me to pray about, or for someone else about. It will all be annonymous.


I will try to update as much as possible!! Much Love!
Casey!