Dear Friends,
What is it that typically leads our society? What is it that can consume a mind faster than most things? Sex. Lust. We are all surrounded by ideal images. Even something as simple as an advertisement, telling you what you have to be. A lot of it is sex appeal. I mean, lets really be honest with ourselves, we can’t go anywhere without seeing something we are suppose to be. Whether we believe it or not, we are surrounded by images that tell us what to do. In some cases, it gives people an idea of what to dress like or have… but in most cases, if we are truly honest, we believe we NEED to look the way the girl on the pictures in front of a tanning shop look. Or the guy in the rugged manly pictures.
Sex is a powerful elixir to Love. Once brought into the mix, it changes everything. The consumption of sexual images can drive a person crazy, to a point of experimentation. It changes our perception of true Love. We think that in order to have a relationship we have to sleep with someone. Or in order to know if it will work out, we have to know if the intimate part of our life. Not to mention this idea that EVERYONE is taking part in it.
You see this is going to damage our life, even our walk because we end up with this perception in all aspects of life. We have to be this way, we have to sleep with this type of person, we have to say these certain phrases, dress this way, everything…
In the end, what we are all looking for is something that satisfies at least enough to justify our desires. In some cases it can go horribly wrong.
Much Love,
Casey
EXPANSION PACK:
Women: "Some women choose to follow men and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore." –Lady GaGa
WOW. What is sad is that, this is true. I understand why people would say that. I remember talking with a group of people, and a story was shared that was spot on to this quote. It was remarkably sad, especially because of how it resonated with many people.
I have one thing to say, don’t believe in what Lady GaGa says, please. Following a career will only satisfy you momentarily. When you are broken, your career will not save you. When you need a community, your career will tell you how to professionally move on. When you can’t face another day, your career will only tell you how many hours you have to put in. You were created to be loved, to be cared for, to be accepted. Don’t let some guy who does not understand that ruin that for you. Don’t let a rocky time in your relationships teach you to believe this. Those times will come; it is expected with any journey.
I don’t have many challenges or points to make, more so a statement. It is not suppose to be like this. I will elaborate more later, but this is not suppose to be like this. Chasing dreams is living our desires from Christ out, however being fearful of relationships because of the fear of not being loved anymore is more relevant. This issue is making headlines. The divorce rate is up. Suicide rate is up. Eating disorders are up. Depression is up. This is not supposed to be. These things are not meant to tear us apart.
Men: We continually have this stereotype that follows us everywhere we go!! So I want to let you in on a little secret, it is easier to be celibate then we make it to be. For example, why do we really enjoy life when we are on a mission trip? Because we are releasing parts of ourselves. Men, I know we struggle with this desire for sex and pleasure in those manners, however I have ONE thing to say… Find a way to release them. Your best bet, in all honesty, is to get yourself a hobby or more importantly volunteer. When you exhaust your soul that way, you lose a craving to satisfy the desire to be intimate with another person. One important biblical principal is self-control… Pornography is addicting, but it is also controllable. Sleeping with people is addicting, but controllable. My challenge to you is to find ways to release those desires, because what will end up happening if you don’t is, they will be pent up and can become very strong.
Here are some ways: Volunteer with the youth group, volunteer at the humane society, volunteer at the soup kitchen, volunteer with an assisted living home, volunteer with the children’s ministry.
Both: I am different then most modern Christians when it comes to the idea of Marriage. I truly believe we were created to desire marriage. I can’t read the story of creation and not say… Welp, I guess God intended for only a few select to get married and to have a wife/husband… I can’t read it that way. God has been clear that it is not good for anyone to be alone. With that being said, I do not believe that everyone will get married.
So now that that is out of the way, I have a few points to raise:
1) “You have to meet a few wrong ones before you can appreciate the right one…” is not true. I am not sure where we get this idea, but NO ONE is the RIGHT ONE. Everyone person you date or even the person you get married to will let you down at some point, that is the reality of Love. It is dangerous because what happens is, when we are in Love, we do everything in our power to keep the person in love with us. That is reality. But what erks me most about this phrase is the use. We exclaim that because a relationship went south, it will help us grow fonder of the right one. Does this seem messed up? You DON’T have to meet a few wrong ones to appreciate the right one. Nor do you have to fear waiting for the “right one.” That is just crazy to think that way. You know what you need though, is to know that you are Loved and you need to learn to be Loved. You can’t let anyone in if you don’t allow yourself to be loved.
2) It is psychologically proven that people will rarely date people who are not in their same attractiveness level. For example, a guy will rarely date someone who he believes society has deemed as repulsive. Same goes for the girl, but with one difference, they sometimes feel more guilty about dating those men then men do about those women. Do we see a problem with this? Marriage can become a bitter thing for some people with this point. We can often put up barriers and roadblocks to our vulnerability, especially if we have the perception we carry in society right now. The perception is, you have to look the best and be the best, at all costs. This destroys marriages because of the assumptions it creates. When we feel this way, we begin to build defenses, and when we build defenses, we lose vulnerability, and once we lose that, we lose honesty and communication breaks down. All of this stems from the psychologically proven point that we create relationships with people on our same level, and rarely do we do so with those beneath us. It is created by our desire to be number one. One thing I challenge you with is learn to just go on a date. Allow yourself to be surprised by what you find inside people. When you learn to allow attraction to grow, you have a much stronger relationship. Hesitations are typical, and come in most situations, however they should never determine a relationship.
3) I believe marriage is not opposites attract, but passions should attract. The last thing you want to do in life is to marry someone with completely different desires. If I am passionate about building an orphanage in an area, and she is not passionate at all about that, one side will end up settling. When one person feels as if they have settled in an intimate context, it can change the dynamics of a relationship. So, my challenge, in reference to the last point, find a person who matches your desire, and I don’t mean has everything in line, and figured out, but instead encourages you to discover Christ more and more through your passions meshing together. A person who desires to journey with you together with your passions meshing will make for a great foundation, especially during the rockiest of times. If you settled for someone who is not passionate, and especially not for the things you are passionate about, your rockiest of times could be detrimental.
4) My last point is, IT IS NOT SUPPOSE TO BE LIKE THIS… Rape, suicide, death, kidnapping, terrorism, shame, guilt, deformities, genocide, and simple PLAIN OLD EVIL! Scripture has pointed that out many times. God says it is not what he has planned!
-Gen 6: 5 The Lord observed the extent of human wickedness on the earth, and he saw that everything they thought or imagined was consistently and totally evil. 6 So the Lord was sorry he had ever made them and put them on the earth. It broke his heart.
-Isaiah 5:7: 7 The nation of Israel is the vineyard of the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. The people of Judah are his pleasant garden. He expected a crop of justice, but instead he found oppression. He expected to find righteousness, but instead he heard cries of violence.
Essentially What I am grabbing at here is, this world, and what has come with it is broken. Our world is consumed by image and brokenness. What I am going to address in part two is this realization that our Love MUST be a resemblance of Christ’s Love for us. When we begin to see others the way Christ does, we can learn a deep Love and appreciation for even the common enemies we find in life. When we forgive others the way Christ does, we begin to realize our desire for them to be with us through eternity. When we learn to have mercy on others the way Christ does, we can begin to forgive. I will be talking more about that in part two, but what I want you to grab from this letter is the last part. I pray that what Lady GaGa said is not going to be true, and that we realize that it is not suppose to be like this. God does intend for us to know true Love through Him, and for us to find joy and Love from each other.
Until next time,
Much Love,
Casey Hayden
What is it that typically leads our society? What is it that can consume a mind faster than most things? Sex. Lust. We are all surrounded by ideal images. Even something as simple as an advertisement, telling you what you have to be. A lot of it is sex appeal. I mean, lets really be honest with ourselves, we can’t go anywhere without seeing something we are suppose to be. Whether we believe it or not, we are surrounded by images that tell us what to do. In some cases, it gives people an idea of what to dress like or have… but in most cases, if we are truly honest, we believe we NEED to look the way the girl on the pictures in front of a tanning shop look. Or the guy in the rugged manly pictures.
Sex is a powerful elixir to Love. Once brought into the mix, it changes everything. The consumption of sexual images can drive a person crazy, to a point of experimentation. It changes our perception of true Love. We think that in order to have a relationship we have to sleep with someone. Or in order to know if it will work out, we have to know if the intimate part of our life. Not to mention this idea that EVERYONE is taking part in it.
You see this is going to damage our life, even our walk because we end up with this perception in all aspects of life. We have to be this way, we have to sleep with this type of person, we have to say these certain phrases, dress this way, everything…
In the end, what we are all looking for is something that satisfies at least enough to justify our desires. In some cases it can go horribly wrong.
Much Love,
Casey
EXPANSION PACK:
Women: "Some women choose to follow men and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore." –Lady GaGa
WOW. What is sad is that, this is true. I understand why people would say that. I remember talking with a group of people, and a story was shared that was spot on to this quote. It was remarkably sad, especially because of how it resonated with many people.
I have one thing to say, don’t believe in what Lady GaGa says, please. Following a career will only satisfy you momentarily. When you are broken, your career will not save you. When you need a community, your career will tell you how to professionally move on. When you can’t face another day, your career will only tell you how many hours you have to put in. You were created to be loved, to be cared for, to be accepted. Don’t let some guy who does not understand that ruin that for you. Don’t let a rocky time in your relationships teach you to believe this. Those times will come; it is expected with any journey.
I don’t have many challenges or points to make, more so a statement. It is not suppose to be like this. I will elaborate more later, but this is not suppose to be like this. Chasing dreams is living our desires from Christ out, however being fearful of relationships because of the fear of not being loved anymore is more relevant. This issue is making headlines. The divorce rate is up. Suicide rate is up. Eating disorders are up. Depression is up. This is not supposed to be. These things are not meant to tear us apart.
Men: We continually have this stereotype that follows us everywhere we go!! So I want to let you in on a little secret, it is easier to be celibate then we make it to be. For example, why do we really enjoy life when we are on a mission trip? Because we are releasing parts of ourselves. Men, I know we struggle with this desire for sex and pleasure in those manners, however I have ONE thing to say… Find a way to release them. Your best bet, in all honesty, is to get yourself a hobby or more importantly volunteer. When you exhaust your soul that way, you lose a craving to satisfy the desire to be intimate with another person. One important biblical principal is self-control… Pornography is addicting, but it is also controllable. Sleeping with people is addicting, but controllable. My challenge to you is to find ways to release those desires, because what will end up happening if you don’t is, they will be pent up and can become very strong.
Here are some ways: Volunteer with the youth group, volunteer at the humane society, volunteer at the soup kitchen, volunteer with an assisted living home, volunteer with the children’s ministry.
Both: I am different then most modern Christians when it comes to the idea of Marriage. I truly believe we were created to desire marriage. I can’t read the story of creation and not say… Welp, I guess God intended for only a few select to get married and to have a wife/husband… I can’t read it that way. God has been clear that it is not good for anyone to be alone. With that being said, I do not believe that everyone will get married.
So now that that is out of the way, I have a few points to raise:
1) “You have to meet a few wrong ones before you can appreciate the right one…” is not true. I am not sure where we get this idea, but NO ONE is the RIGHT ONE. Everyone person you date or even the person you get married to will let you down at some point, that is the reality of Love. It is dangerous because what happens is, when we are in Love, we do everything in our power to keep the person in love with us. That is reality. But what erks me most about this phrase is the use. We exclaim that because a relationship went south, it will help us grow fonder of the right one. Does this seem messed up? You DON’T have to meet a few wrong ones to appreciate the right one. Nor do you have to fear waiting for the “right one.” That is just crazy to think that way. You know what you need though, is to know that you are Loved and you need to learn to be Loved. You can’t let anyone in if you don’t allow yourself to be loved.
2) It is psychologically proven that people will rarely date people who are not in their same attractiveness level. For example, a guy will rarely date someone who he believes society has deemed as repulsive. Same goes for the girl, but with one difference, they sometimes feel more guilty about dating those men then men do about those women. Do we see a problem with this? Marriage can become a bitter thing for some people with this point. We can often put up barriers and roadblocks to our vulnerability, especially if we have the perception we carry in society right now. The perception is, you have to look the best and be the best, at all costs. This destroys marriages because of the assumptions it creates. When we feel this way, we begin to build defenses, and when we build defenses, we lose vulnerability, and once we lose that, we lose honesty and communication breaks down. All of this stems from the psychologically proven point that we create relationships with people on our same level, and rarely do we do so with those beneath us. It is created by our desire to be number one. One thing I challenge you with is learn to just go on a date. Allow yourself to be surprised by what you find inside people. When you learn to allow attraction to grow, you have a much stronger relationship. Hesitations are typical, and come in most situations, however they should never determine a relationship.
3) I believe marriage is not opposites attract, but passions should attract. The last thing you want to do in life is to marry someone with completely different desires. If I am passionate about building an orphanage in an area, and she is not passionate at all about that, one side will end up settling. When one person feels as if they have settled in an intimate context, it can change the dynamics of a relationship. So, my challenge, in reference to the last point, find a person who matches your desire, and I don’t mean has everything in line, and figured out, but instead encourages you to discover Christ more and more through your passions meshing together. A person who desires to journey with you together with your passions meshing will make for a great foundation, especially during the rockiest of times. If you settled for someone who is not passionate, and especially not for the things you are passionate about, your rockiest of times could be detrimental.
4) My last point is, IT IS NOT SUPPOSE TO BE LIKE THIS… Rape, suicide, death, kidnapping, terrorism, shame, guilt, deformities, genocide, and simple PLAIN OLD EVIL! Scripture has pointed that out many times. God says it is not what he has planned!
-Gen 6: 5 The Lord observed the extent of human wickedness on the earth, and he saw that everything they thought or imagined was consistently and totally evil. 6 So the Lord was sorry he had ever made them and put them on the earth. It broke his heart.
-Isaiah 5:7: 7 The nation of Israel is the vineyard of the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. The people of Judah are his pleasant garden. He expected a crop of justice, but instead he found oppression. He expected to find righteousness, but instead he heard cries of violence.
Essentially What I am grabbing at here is, this world, and what has come with it is broken. Our world is consumed by image and brokenness. What I am going to address in part two is this realization that our Love MUST be a resemblance of Christ’s Love for us. When we begin to see others the way Christ does, we can learn a deep Love and appreciation for even the common enemies we find in life. When we forgive others the way Christ does, we begin to realize our desire for them to be with us through eternity. When we learn to have mercy on others the way Christ does, we can begin to forgive. I will be talking more about that in part two, but what I want you to grab from this letter is the last part. I pray that what Lady GaGa said is not going to be true, and that we realize that it is not suppose to be like this. God does intend for us to know true Love through Him, and for us to find joy and Love from each other.
Until next time,
Much Love,
Casey Hayden
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