Reckless Love

I have noticed a theme in life recently. Love is reckless. It is scandalous. It is not even comprehendible. I just don’t get it. Everything in life revolves around Love. It is remarkable to me. Even now, my joy is unsurpassable when thinking about it. (My definition of reckless- I mean reckless because it knows no bounds, it knows no rules, it knows no depth, it knows no walls, it knows know norms.)

God has this reckless, scandalous, incomprehensible, deep, relational Love for all of us. I don’t get it. I am fidgeting just writing about it. I am so excited by it! We live in a world continually promising you changing things. They promise to love you today, but unsure of what will come tomorrow. Everything changes in a world where even the slightest slip up can ruin your life!

We live in a world where people are in DIRE need of Love. I mean, just last week, and I do not even mean this week, I have been told stories about suicide, self-mutilation (cutting, burning, suffocation, scratching, carving, and others), rape, drug abuse and addiction, teen pregnancy and depression. It is amazing, that this is going on in America. What is sick is that that is just a glimpse at the darkness trying to consume people!

We all live in a world where we often don’t even know what is going on inside the walls of the place we call home. We all have a glimpse of what is going on around the world. Slavery still exists, prostitution is on the rise with young children, women caught in the trap of the terrible men in congo have NO CLUE what true Love even means, children are still being drugged and put in a ruthless army, gangs are still rampant even on our soil, literacy is on the down slope, poverty is seeing new all-time lows, selling a kid to put food on the table is popular, and this is still the tip of the ice-berg.

Heck, all of us are living in some sort of darkness right now. Some of us have these deep dark broken secrets that are just eating us alive!

We all have messed up views on Love. Recently I have been reading quotes about how Love is some song we sing, and about running away and something on the radio, blah blah blah. Hollywood has destroyed our version of Love. We use it to cover everything we do! We love your hair, or love your car or we love this dinner or we love this outfit, BLAH.

We have messed up understandings of Love! I mean think about it. I heard this story from Pastor Greg Boyd- A woman was attending a church, she comes to church, she has all these cuts and bruises. She just passed it off as she fell or tripped. It keeps happening thought. She starts coming in with bigger cuts and bruises, and one time with some teeth missing. People start not to buy it. She finally opens up and tells a few people that she is living with this guy who is beating her, and when he gets drunk he just goes on a rampage. She starts to get help from the church, and is in a shelter. Welp, once she got out, she goes back to the guy, and when asked why she goes back to this guy she answers “Well, he loves me, he tells me he loves me and is always sorry!”… Her twisted view of Love was telling her that this is what Love was suppose to be like.

This is not uncommon! I know of kids who have grown up with a person sexually molesting them, telling them it is out of love! There are people I know who have friends who tell them they need to sleep with this person, because this person LOVES you. We have people who sit alone in a lunchroom or on the bus or in life, who, according to mainstream media, need to be loved differently because they don’t fit in. Heck they are told they are loved, but yet they are still ignored. Kids around the world are sold into slavery, being promised a life of LOVE and success! There are people who are married, having an affair because someone told them they loved them, when their husband or wife failed to even acknowledge them. There are families who sit in church feeling shame and guilt as all they are told is that God is hurt by all the filthy sinners in the world.

Do you see how we have a twisted view of Love? Do you see how abuse, and suicide and immorality and impurity, and slavery and shame and guilt and self mutilation and prostitution and whatever else plagues our mind twists our view of Love?

Amazing isn’t it? Our biggest problem is that when we begin to see Love in this light, under those contexts, we start to impose those views on God. God is not an abusive father who wishes you to feel guilt and shame, while defiling you as a human. God is not a God of judgmental bigotry. Yet our understanding of Love is based off our understanding of how we are Loved. So it makes since why a prostitute does not go to church, or why a person being abused attends bible studies.

We have theology out there that tries to teach us that a God of Love is the same God that has predestined to be in hell, because it gives God glory. Meaning that some have been created to go straight to hell for the Glory of God. Where is the glory in this? Why would I want to spend eternity with a God that is forcing me out of fear to worship Him, and if I don’t give 10% or attend 2 bible studies, God will remove His hand of protection and lead us into the pit of Hell….

What kind of glory is that? What kind of Love is that?

It is twisted and messed up and just impossible to comprehend!

You see God has this RECKLESS LOVE for us. A love that goes deeper than any of us could EVER fathom. In fact, we cannot even understand it! God has this undying, unsurpassable, unchanging, unstoppable, everlasting, eternal, nothing in Heaven or hell could EVER stop Him. Nothing on this earth, nothing done by angels or demons, no power of Evil, not even the darkness you hide in your heart can change the fact that God wants you! NOT ONE THING can change that.

GOD is LOVE, and God is RECKLESSLY chasing after you! Love is taking all we need, and more and providing for it. LOVE NEVER FAILS because it is EVERLASTING! God does not change, and His LOVE for you WILL NEVER change! God can endure anything if it means for one moment God can hold you. All of us have a reason for coming before God. Some of us have pasts we are not proud of, or choices we are making, or have broken relationships that shape our feeling towards God. In these moments when we feel guilt and shame, God is forgiving you saying IT IS FINISHED IT IS FINISHED COME HOME COME HOME! YOU ARE MINE, and NOTHING in this world, NO CONDEMNATION could EVER separate you from that. Not even the power of HELL could stop my LOVE for you. And the best part is, I DON’T GET IT! I have no clue why!

I beg you to not let this world shape your view of Love! God is not any of those things! In fact, God’s LOVE for you is trying to save you from that! Greg Boyd puts it best that Love is not something God just does, it is the essence of who God is! God is the noun Love because God is verbing Love!

God does not just stop loving you because of something you have done, or something you are doing or something you will do. God cannot stop being the essence of who God is. God’s Love for you will not go up or down based off of your actions, it will only grow DEEPER in you. The power of Evil tries to stop that, by creating these chains that tie you down to your understanding of Love, and making you feel worse based off how bad of a “sinner” you are. Freedom comes with the Love of Christ!

You could even be an enemy of God, but yet God is STILL RECKLESSLY in Love with you!

You see, every moment God is RECKLESSLY in love with you, wanting to fulfill all of your needs, to give you purpose, to provide Hope. The Love God has for you surpasses ALL knowledge! God is FOR YOU, PASSIONATELY! Even when we are hidden in darkness, Jesus Christ still died for us!

The Cross of Christ is the ultimate expression of Christ’s RECKLESS Love for us! It is for EVERYONE, EVERY SINGLE PERSON, no matter what! Freedom, transformation, justification, sanctification, joy, hope EVERYTHING came from the Cross of Christ and is poured out to all of us and It can ONLY come at the Cross of Christ, because that is God’s FULL expression of His infinite LOVE for every single creation. For you, for me, for the old lady, for the prostitute and even the guy beating his son. God’s Love is recklessly driven to YOU. It is reckless according to us, because God will stop at nothing to Love you.

I pray you begin to be consumed by it, because once you are consumed, you will desire to grow deeper, and even when you feel like God could not Love you more, realize that you are only scratching the surface of a Love that God has for you, because God wants to be Loving you for an eternity! Be consumed, shake your false views of Love.

Be consumed by a God who has a reckless Love for you!
Blessings!

A Letter To my Friend’s (A Tempted Society plus Lady GaGa PS Edition)

PS Friends,

New study results from a Pew Research Center/Time magazine poll say 39% of Americans think that marriage is becoming obsolete; up 11% from when Time asked this same question in 1978. Those most likely to agree are cohabiting parents (62%) and self-described conservatives (42%). According to the survey, 52% of respondents were married in 2008; in 1960, 72% were married. Although in decline, marriage remains the usual goal for the college-educated and those with good incomes, but Pew Center researchers said marriage is "markedly less prevalent among those on the lower rungs of the socio-economic ladder...they are as likely to want to marry, but they place a higher premium on economic security as a condition for marriage." Additionally, in 1960, more than two-thirds of twenty-somethings were married; in 2008, just 26% were.

Interesting isn’t it?

I am not really sure what I am trying to get at here today.

In my last note, I posted the Lady GaGa quote- "Some women choose to follow men and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore."

You know… I believe that is true. This letter is for both men and women. This is really hard for me to admit, but believing in what Lady GaGa has to say makes some very valid points in my heart. It is often easier for me to wake up to something I do, rather than waking up to something I have to be vulnerable towards and work at! It is much easier to face the day when I can attempt to control it (or at least feel in control)

All of us have something we are trying to hide from the world. There is this deep deep down hidden darkness. It is different for most of us, but it typically is what guides us in our decision making.

For me, all of my pain was hidden by my so called "success". Anything that ever hurt me, I “released” by being busy and working on a wide range of things. Everything I did became mediocre, but at least I hide my problems. I preached forgiveness, but I could never let anything truthfully go. Every person that ever hurt me was paid for by my friends and most importantly my family. My revenge on what people had done to me, was taken out some by my work, but mostly on other people not even remotely related to the situation. I was truly hurt inside, but man, did I know how to laugh and enjoy life on the outside.

I don’t think I am alone in this. My major is Rehabilitation and Human Services, I focus primarily on Developmental Disabilities, I have participated in several training opportunities in other areas. I have seen a lot of brokenness, even for being a 21 year old. I have been hugged by a person whose body was literally dying, I have been called by a parent and a teen telling me there friend or child wants to commit suicide, I have looked in the eyes of a drug addicted friend as they attempt to justify their actions, I have listened to the story of a teen who was ready to quit their drug addiction but hated the fact that they had to lose friends, I listen to a story about a friend who was raped, and hid it for a long time, I have seen so much pain… So much.

I am reminded of the story of Moses. If you get a chance read Numbers 11:10-15. In this story, Moses confesses that he can’t carry the burden of all these people, in fact he goes as far to say that if this is how it is, he can’t handle the burden and would rather have God kill him.

Moses relates to a lot of us. He feels not only their burdens, but their pressure and judgments’ that are being passed on to him. Moses feels like a complete failure with one option- defeat.

Love is calling you to higher wisdom and bliss- Dr. Scott Peck

I can’t stop listening to two songs right now, they are called “Love is still a Worthy Cause” and “I saw what I saw” both by Sara Groves. (Please listen to them!)

I am here to just encourage you today. All of us have seen pain, even if we are blind to it in the lives of others, we have seen pain in our own life. Trust me, I have no cure for it, but what I do have is Love. To many this may not seem like a lot, and to Lady GaGa it is often what breaks a person. In the song, I saw what I saw, that song talks directly about that, that we see pain, that we are not absent from that, but it is in seeing that pain that should make us act.
Now, many people have different beliefs about this idea of Predestination and all of the sorts, and I do not believe this is the forum for that discussion, I am merely going to make a point that, all of this pain is not God’s plan!

Pastor Greg Boyd said it best to me- “Can doesn't -- in fact, CAN'T -- create sin.  He's all holy.  He gives us free will, which means, by definition, we can choose love or NOT. The choice to NOT love is sin.  So WE create sin by failing to choose love.”

I appreciate the way Greg puts it. God can’t create sin. Because sin CAN happen does not mean God can create sin. The real sin is our choice to not choose Love.

So what I am grabbing at here is this, God did not create this world of pain, of suffering. Even if we try to hide it, we will end up empty. God desires for our fulfillment, for us to be Loved.

This brings me to my second song Love is still a Worthy Cause! I encourage you to listen to this song because it makes the greatest points. It talks about maybe how we have lost it all and are hiding because of all of the times we have tried… Here is the best two lines in the song- “Friend I know your heart is raw, but Love is still a worthy cause!”
I love that line. It is true of all of us! We are beaten with pain consistently, but this is my promise to you, Love is still a worthy cause. I know we see a lot of painful things, I know it is hard to go through a normal day, let alone try and think about someone else.

I am not going to promise you that if you Love people, friends, family and even your spouse and kids, that it will return to you in joy, because that would be a lie, but I will promise you that Love is still a worthy cause.
I want us to bring this same thought process into a relationship we have with those we intend to marry. Love is still a worthy cause. Love inside of Marriage is still worth fighting for. When we fear Love, we are bond to our personal darkness. When we Love others, God begins to give them permission to be free. Without Love, we are nothing. In fact, without Love, we get nowhere.

We can’t fight for the cause of Love by being alone. Life is all about taking chances and experiencing God’s love, and expressing our faith in God by our Love for each other. Sometimes you are going to have to risk a lot, but it is still a worthy cause. Sometimes you are going to be in pain, but it is still a worthy cause. Sometimes you are going to look to blame someone, but just look through it and know Love is still a worthy cause.
It is not going to be easy, but we have to work through this. We have to be honest with ourselves and with others. It is not about pointing out their flaws, it is about working through it all, being vulnerable, letting go. That will be our biggest fall.

Relationships can be a powerful testimony to life. We are not built to be alone. Sometime soon, take a chance on seeing where God can lead you. Don’t be afraid of what you find!

Take a chance on loving those who are broken, and allow yourself to be loved. You may seem lost right now, but you can often find who you are by loving those around you. There is a great need to change the perception on life and brokenness. There is a great need to change the research from the beginning of this article, but we can’t do that unless we take a chance on Love.

“We can do no great things, just small things with great Love”-Mother Teresa


A Letter To my Friend’s (A Tempted Society plus Lady GaGa. Part 1)

Dear Friends,

What is it that typically leads our society? What is it that can consume a mind faster than most things? Sex. Lust. We are all surrounded by ideal images. Even something as simple as an advertisement, telling you what you have to be. A lot of it is sex appeal. I mean, lets really be honest with ourselves, we can’t go anywhere without seeing something we are suppose to be. Whether we believe it or not, we are surrounded by images that tell us what to do. In some cases, it gives people an idea of what to dress like or have… but in most cases, if we are truly honest, we believe we NEED to look the way the girl on the pictures in front of a tanning shop look. Or the guy in the rugged manly pictures.

Sex is a powerful elixir to Love. Once brought into the mix, it changes everything. The consumption of sexual images can drive a person crazy, to a point of experimentation. It changes our perception of true Love. We think that in order to have a relationship we have to sleep with someone. Or in order to know if it will work out, we have to know if the intimate part of our life. Not to mention this idea that EVERYONE is taking part in it.

You see this is going to damage our life, even our walk because we end up with this perception in all aspects of life. We have to be this way, we have to sleep with this type of person, we have to say these certain phrases, dress this way, everything…

In the end, what we are all looking for is something that satisfies at least enough to justify our desires. In some cases it can go horribly wrong.

Much Love,
Casey

EXPANSION PACK:
Women: "Some women choose to follow men and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore." –Lady GaGa

WOW. What is sad is that, this is true. I understand why people would say that. I remember talking with a group of people, and a story was shared that was spot on to this quote. It was remarkably sad, especially because of how it resonated with many people.

I have one thing to say, don’t believe in what Lady GaGa says, please. Following a career will only satisfy you momentarily. When you are broken, your career will not save you. When you need a community, your career will tell you how to professionally move on. When you can’t face another day, your career will only tell you how many hours you have to put in. You were created to be loved, to be cared for, to be accepted. Don’t let some guy who does not understand that ruin that for you. Don’t let a rocky time in your relationships teach you to believe this. Those times will come; it is expected with any journey.

I don’t have many challenges or points to make, more so a statement. It is not suppose to be like this. I will elaborate more later, but this is not suppose to be like this. Chasing dreams is living our desires from Christ out, however being fearful of relationships because of the fear of not being loved anymore is more relevant. This issue is making headlines. The divorce rate is up. Suicide rate is up. Eating disorders are up. Depression is up. This is not supposed to be. These things are not meant to tear us apart.

Men: We continually have this stereotype that follows us everywhere we go!! So I want to let you in on a little secret, it is easier to be celibate then we make it to be. For example, why do we really enjoy life when we are on a mission trip? Because we are releasing parts of ourselves. Men, I know we struggle with this desire for sex and pleasure in those manners, however I have ONE thing to say… Find a way to release them. Your best bet, in all honesty, is to get yourself a hobby or more importantly volunteer. When you exhaust your soul that way, you lose a craving to satisfy the desire to be intimate with another person. One important biblical principal is self-control… Pornography is addicting, but it is also controllable.  Sleeping with people is addicting, but controllable. My challenge to you is to find ways to release those desires, because what will end up happening if you don’t is, they will be pent up and can become very strong.

Here are some ways: Volunteer with the youth group, volunteer at the humane society, volunteer at the soup kitchen, volunteer with an assisted living home, volunteer with the children’s ministry.

Both: I am different then most modern Christians when it comes to the idea of Marriage. I truly believe we were created to desire marriage. I can’t read the story of creation and not say… Welp, I guess God intended for only a few select to get married and to have a wife/husband… I can’t read it that way. God has been clear that it is not good for anyone to be alone. With that being said, I do not believe that everyone will get married.

So now that that is out of the way, I have a few points to raise:

1)      “You have to meet a few wrong ones before you can appreciate the right one…” is not true. I am not sure where we get this idea, but NO ONE is the RIGHT ONE. Everyone person you date or even the person you get married to will let you down at some point, that is the reality of Love. It is dangerous because what happens is, when we are in Love, we do everything in our power to keep the person in love with us. That is reality. But what erks me most about this phrase is the use. We exclaim that because a relationship went south, it will help us grow fonder of the right one. Does this seem messed up? You DON’T have to meet a few wrong ones to appreciate the right one. Nor do you have to fear waiting for the “right one.” That is just crazy to think that way. You know what you need though, is to know that you are Loved and you need to learn to be Loved. You can’t let anyone in if you don’t allow yourself to be loved.

2)      It is psychologically proven that people will rarely date people who are not in their same attractiveness level. For example, a guy will rarely date someone who he believes society has deemed as repulsive. Same goes for the girl, but with one difference, they sometimes feel more guilty about dating those men then men do about those women. Do we see a problem with this? Marriage can become a bitter thing for some people with this point. We can often put up barriers and roadblocks to our vulnerability, especially if we have the perception we carry in society right now. The perception is, you have to look the best and be the best, at all costs. This destroys marriages because of the assumptions it creates. When we feel this way, we begin to build defenses, and when we build defenses, we lose vulnerability, and once we lose that, we lose honesty and communication breaks down. All of this stems from the psychologically proven point that we create relationships with people on our same level, and rarely do we do so with those beneath us. It is created by our desire to be number one. One thing I challenge you with is learn to just go on a date. Allow yourself to be surprised by what you find inside people. When you learn to allow attraction to grow, you have a much stronger relationship. Hesitations are typical, and come in most situations, however they should never determine a relationship.

3)      I believe marriage is not opposites attract, but passions should attract. The last thing you want to do in life is to marry someone with completely different desires. If I am passionate about building an orphanage in an area, and she is not passionate at all about that, one side will end up settling. When one person feels as if they have settled in an intimate context, it can change the dynamics of a relationship. So, my challenge, in reference to the last point, find a person who matches your desire, and I don’t mean has everything in line, and figured out, but instead encourages you to discover Christ more and more through your passions meshing together. A person who desires to journey with you together with your passions meshing will make for a great foundation, especially during the rockiest of times. If you settled for someone who is not passionate, and especially not for the things you are passionate about, your rockiest of times could be detrimental.

4)      My last point is, IT IS NOT SUPPOSE TO BE LIKE THIS… Rape, suicide, death, kidnapping, terrorism, shame, guilt, deformities, genocide, and simple PLAIN OLD EVIL! Scripture has pointed that out many times. God says it is not what he has planned!
-Gen 6:  5 The Lord observed the extent of human wickedness on the earth, and he saw that everything they thought or imagined was consistently and totally evil. 6 So the Lord was sorry he had ever made them and put them on the earth. It broke his heart.
-Isaiah 5:7: 7 The nation of Israel is the vineyard of the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. The people of Judah are his pleasant garden. He expected a crop of justice, but instead he found oppression.  He expected to find righteousness, but instead he heard cries of violence.
Essentially What I am grabbing at here is, this world, and what has come with it is broken. Our world is consumed by image and brokenness. What I am going to address in part two is this realization that our Love MUST be a resemblance of Christ’s Love for us. When we begin to see others the way Christ does, we can learn a deep Love and appreciation for even the common enemies we find in life. When we forgive others the way Christ does, we begin to realize our desire for them to be with us through eternity. When we learn to have mercy on others the way Christ does, we can begin to forgive. I will be talking more about that in part two, but what I want you to grab from this letter is the last part. I pray that what Lady GaGa said is not going to be true, and that we realize that it is not suppose to be like this. God does intend for us to know true Love through Him, and for us to find joy and Love from each other.

Until next time,

Much Love,
Casey Hayden


Darkest and most Painful Honesty

Pain can be consuming. In fact it can be overwhelming. It is interesting how it all works. A lot of our pain eats us up. It makes us believe things. It is amazing though, the things we believe effect EVERYTHING. There is so much pain going on right now in our society. I could never exhaust this subject, because it has to be at the forefront of our life, Love. It is the most painful topic. It is dangerous because of our twisted messed up view of Love.

See here is our problem, and I want you to read everything I write, our problem is, love is not fulfilling. The love we offer to other people NEVER satisfies anyone. We say love your neighbor as yourself, but our problem we feel empty because of it. Love is dangerous because it holds a dangerous expectation. We tell others that all we need is love… We tell others to just love… I TELL OTHERS THAT LOVE IS THE ONLY THINGS THAT MATTERS. But still, I am never satisfied. I am left craving more, and most of the time, it is painful. Think of it like this. My friends love me, but yet I still feel alone. My parents love me, but I am still spending time bitter and angry. My brothers and sister-in-law tell me they love me, but yet I still have days where I doubt my existence and purpose. I know God loves me, but yet hardships seem to be impossible to overcome, and darkened depression is relevant.

We are preaching love, which is amazing, but yet, pain is still consuming. People are still taking their lives, self-mutilating, have plummeted self-worth, have destroyed perception of truth, have a war-torn heart in a war-torn world, and yet we have the audacity to make terrible claims against people. We still judge people, we still murder people, and we still destroy people’s lives.

Pain is coming through stronger and stronger and stronger. I mean think about it, I have yet to go a day that I can remember, where I have not heard a racist or sexist comment. In the past week and a half, there have been 2 suicides that and one close attempt that I know of. I can’t even imagine the pain of the family, because I have seen the pain of the community, and that is hard enough to hear. Last academic year, there were 4 suicides on the University of North Dakota campus. This summer, I had a student tell me, they were ready to take their life, because they lost all their friends because this student no longer wanted to do drugs. I got a contacted by a parent because they discovered their daughter is cutting her arms. I know someone who hurts themselves to go to the hospital to get pain meds because of their addiction. I met someone who has such a low self-image, that eating something was one of the most painful things ever, as if everything they ate was destroying them. I met a person who, with tears in their eyes asked for a hand out of their addiction, for some hope. I have looked in parents eyes as they have begged their child to go to get away from the party scene. I know of friends who have lost contact with a friend who ran away because they refuse to go to rehab. I know of friends who have begged their parents not to get a divorce, and woke up next day to face that reality. I know of people who have broken marriages because of pornography. I know of students who argue that the only reason they drink is because their friends do that. I know of students who believe that true love is sleeping with their partner…

Pain has consumed our culture. It does not surprise me anymore when people get angry, but I have always been baffled to see our anger make enemies inside the Christian Community. Our enemy is not Flesh and Blood. It is not fought on a distant battlefield. Our enemy is the darkness that is attempting to consume our family, friends, community, nation and our world. Our enemy is not our Sunday school teachers who aren’t giving an outline of the old testament to a 1st grade class, with memory verses. Our enemy is not the youth pastor who is trying to hold his family together, while finding ways to meet youth where they are at. Our enemy is not a child who is addicted to drugs. Our enemy is not a defiant child. Our enemy is not a single mother. Our enemy is not Muslim, Jewish, Hindu or a Scientologist. Our fight is not against teacher’s who “don’t” understand how to teach a child. Our fight is not against an alcoholic, or the industry that aided them to that point. Our fight is not against a prostitute, or the people who have bought them.

Our fight is against darkness. Pain is apparent, because darkness created it. Darkness is like a cancer that consumes us and eats away at our soul.

But, and there is a BUT, we can defeat darkness. I will not promise no more pain, I will not promise no more lonliness, that is sometimes the cost of courage and faith. But, we have an upper hand.

Earlier I talked about how love is not fulfilling. I still mean that. It is not fulfilling because of one huge road block. We. Don’t. Allow. Ourselves. To . Experience. God’s. Reckless. Love. We don’t. We give the best lip-service to Jesus Christ, we really do. We preach about Christ often. But we rarely allow ourselves to be saturated in His reckless Love. I rarely allow myself to be covered by God’s reckless Love.
I have been known to be extremely ruthless towards Christians. I have been known to attack certain people/beliefs and defend certain people/beliefs. I have come to this conclusion, we are not perfect. We are not. We don’t have it all together. And that is ok. I am learning to be ok with that. I am learning to remember that Christians don’t have it all together, we are MESSED UP people. But, our identity must not be placed in that. Our identity must not be placed in this idea that we are just sinners. That we are just worthless, helpless creatures. No, in fact, God calls us HIS OWN. Our identity must be placed in Christ, and the only way that will happen is if we experience God’s Love. Now, there is not universal experience, some people experience it in the lows and some experience it in the highs. But we all must experience it. Think of the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15). At the end of the story, the father runs to the child and embraces him with a reckless Love that literally begins to knock him over. You know all the child had to do was begin to seek his father. First, recognize that God is not willing that you would be lost, so even in your worst moments, God is with you. God is not forcing you to do what He wants. Second, God is not going to cause calamity in your life to teach you, God is going to take what has happened, and be with you through it. Lastly, God wants to embrace you. God holds nothing against you.

So placing our identity in Christ is not about our identity by the world, what we are known for (good or bad). Our identity is that God takes us where we are (lows and highs). Placing your identity in Christ is about experiencing the reckless Love that is abundant. This Love is fighting against the darkness. This Love desires to fulfill you. All of us experience this Love from God in many different ways. Some of us experience in a time of worship with a community whom you trust. Some of us experience it in an orphanage in Haiti. Some of us experience it when you see a child turning from a life of drug addiction. Some of us experience Christ when we are immersed in nature. This experience taps into our identity.

Now, this is the pivotal point of all of this- Christ desires for us to never be alone. From the moment God created the universe, we see God recognize that it is not good for not even ONE of us to be alone. So our identity in Christ is often reflected in our community with each other. I am not sure if you know this, but we can experience the Love of God through our Love for each other. God knows it is not good for us to be alone. That is why community is so important. In fact in 1st Corinthians 13, it says we can know everything, we can move mountains, we can heal people and speak in tongues, yet if we don’t have Love, we have nothing.

So, this is my challenge, place your identity in Christ, let it be reflected by being loved and loving others in your community. When we experience Christ’s reckless Love, we can only begin to heal. When we have a community together placing their identity in Christ, we attack the powers and principalities that attempt to advance darkness and everything that comes with it.

A community living together in light can expose everything that darkness is trying to hide. That light does not bring guilt and shame, for those are the chains to that darkness. When we together advance into the darkness, it is because we have a God, whom our identity is in, leading us. Together darkness is defeated, and healing can begin. We are not automatically healed, nor instantly, because healing takes time. What is done in the dark can cause damage for years to come, but the beauty of the light, is that God can begin to heal you. God knew where you were the whole time, God knows what you need freedom and healing from. We as a community want to share in this healing process. In this, we can all experience the Love of Christ together, and continually destroy the evil that be. Scripture says there will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, no more fears, no more deformities, no more sickness, no more suicide, no more drug addiction, no more abuse, no more cancer but in order for that day to come, we must begin the healing from all that now.

I promise you, when you seek Christ, you will be found, for God knows where you are. I promise you, when we move as a community, darkness will run. I promise you, because of the Love God has for us, we will be compelled to fight for each other, to carry each other in times of weakness. We will be compelled to fight against suicide, self-mutilation, drug addiction, divorce, brokenness, sexual impurity, eating disorders and so much more of these lies being told in the darkness. You are not alone, God knows it is not good for you to be alone.

Our enemy is not Flesh and Blood, our enemy is the very darkness that consumes it. So go together, into this world, into our cities, into our schools, into our homes, into our rooms, and allow the light to make the darkness run, enabling others to find healing and purpose through the light God has given you through experiencing His reckless Love and your identity that is placed in a God that is compelling you to Love the ones who live in pain.

You are not alone!

Much Love,
Casey


A Letter to my Friends (A Big Step)

ear Friends,

I am continuing a journey that began in the beginning of this year. It is not easy, nor do I suspect it to get easier. I am learning and growing in new ways.

I made a promise last spring to work on my pride. To make it not get the best of me. I can proudly say, I am still doing a horrible job at it. It is rough, I wish I had all the answers.

I remember calling my Best Friend Benny, and asking him to pray for me, because I was struggling with my pride. I was allowing it to make me powerful, and I will admit, without trying to brag, I had a lot of responsibility that made me very powerful. I was on the top of the chain for many things. Heck, I bought into the role that people placed me in. I accepted EVERY leadership role out there that was ever offered to me. So on top of my life, I was leading this that and the other, my grades CLEARLY reflected it. My approach to life was exhaustion.

I have begun to see why I am ignoring this call from Christ. We as a Christian culture praise the people who do so much. We praise those who have great strides in life. Who seem as if they have to piece every moment of their life together with the PERFECT timing. How many times have we heard the phrase “I just don’t know how you do it?” and use it as a sign of praise towards the life they lead.

I am convinced the reason I never experienced true repentance was because I was fearful of looking deep into my own life to allow for all the darkness to be exposed. I am convinced that true busyness is evil. When a common saying in your life is “There is just never enough time” or “I will never have the time” think deeply about it.

More importantly how does this align with what we preach about God? Or is it just the sayings we have about God and His Kingdom that fuel our days?

Much Love,
Casey

You know the drill.

Women- I have worked in children’s ministry for years. I have seen many different moms drop their kids off. However, I have seen many types of moms, but two stick out; the tired mom and then the exhausted mom. The tired mom is the mom who drops off her child knowing they will be fine, so that she may have a chance to grow with her community. Then there is the exhausted mom. The mom who is running a mile a minute and has no clue what is even going on in their child’s life. The mom picks up the kid and she just goes to the next place. She times everything because every minute is planned because if it gets off track, then everything gets messed up, and you can see it in her eyes the pain of keeping everything together.

So, I will keep these points simple.
1)      Don’t preach God’s timing if you take control of timing yourself. What this means is, stop telling people to wait for God’s timing if you have every minute of the day planned out to the way you want and need it to be! Do you see how this contradicts what we preach? If we talk about God’s timing for everything, do you begin to see the danger of living a life that you plan out every day to day activity? It simply can’t be both. So I make a claim, a claim that begs you to live a life filled with finding purpose, and exposing your weaknesses.

2)      Be tired and exhausted because of God. Fill your life with heavenly things. Such as Loving your neighbor. Such as giving to the poor. Such as listening. Such as being silent in time of chaos. Such as serving in your church, your community. Such as doing something as simple as what you Love. God did not give you a life to fill with business, but to be filled with passion.

3)      Start being honest with yourself. I have been meeting SO many women who are busy because they feel like they have to live up to something. The greatest Christian in the world took time away from everyone in the garden. So many women I know are exhausted from being the person they think they have to be instead of being simple. They end up beating themselves up for it because they wake up every day tired, having to face another day trying to be something they have no clue how to be. I know it is hard to be honest with who you are, but once you begin to be free in that, you will begin to free yourself from the business of life. It is interesting how it all works, but one thing I do know is that when we hide who we are, what we are going through and our deepest dreams, we begin to busy our life so we do not have to think about it. Thus distracting us from where we really should be.

Men- I will never ask you to leap a canyon if I knew you could journey through it. That is the same about life. Recently I have been faced with it. I am going to be 100% honest. Blind Faith is not our strong suit. I do not believe I have met many (if any) people who just blindly go into everything. I would love to say that I do that, but I CLEARLY do not. But, I think that is the point. You see, maybe the problem is not that we don’t blindly leap, but that we poorly execute. (Praise God for Grace!)

So, I will keep these simple.
1)      Journey through life with a faith that sees everything. Maybe our problem is that we have faith, but lack purpose. See, life is worth little if we don’t begin to Love and live out that purpose of Christ. When we stop loving our neighbor, when we stop serving each other, when we give up on the good fight, when we simply live a life feeding our own gain, we are missing the point of life. When we do this, we lack purpose.

2)      You really do have a lot to offer. I know the world often sees you as this sex hungered beast, then the Christian world sees you as a sinner. Christ however does not have the same view. Christ knows you are worth it and can impact the Kingdom. That can be seen in many ways, from ending sex slavery to being an engineer finding new ways to helping clean up the environment. From being a singer/artist to saving people from fires. God knows each of us, and is pursuing us, knowing that we need to be loved and that we bring Joy to Him. Knowing also that we aid the advancement of the Kingdom.

Both-
1)      This was a hard letter to write, because I am in the midst of the struggles of life! Life is not easy, and that is EXACTLY why Evil exsists. We push evil into the world when we ignore the darkness going on in our life. I am convinced, and know from studies that persons who struggle with hopelessness lack purpose and feel as life is just filled with tasks. God is not a task giver. God is not a busy God. God is not up for giving you busy work, why would He? There is a great need for Love in this world, for reconciliation back to a redeeming Christ, why would God just simply fill your life with menial tasks to get through the day? You are worth too much to be uselessly giving your time to busy work. NOW, I am not saying don’t have a job that pays the bills, or have a job that makes millions, all I am saying is give your time and money to the advancement of the Kingdom of God. This is not a cheap sales pitch to donate to your local church, this is a point that stresses the importance of giving to people who are poor, people who can’t get their head above water, and even your local church community, this being in time and in money.

2)      I am sorry to say this, but I do not firmly believe that God has one single person in mind for us to date and marry. I just do not see it. On top of that, I just can’t see one perfect person for everyone out there. Think of it like this, God has given us all desires and dreams, don’t you think it would be easier to look for someone who matches up with our beliefs, values and heck, even hobbies then to be waiting for the specific perfect soulmate? If you are waiting for the perfect soul mate, you will spend a lot of time in fear trying to figure out if this is the right person, thus ending a relationship more out of fear. That is why life is a journey of exploring Christ and living in this world. This may also mean you may only have the values of what a life journeyer/adventurer/spouse are, not one perfect person waiting for you. That is why relationships are something you work at, not something that has been predestined to just work… I know NO relationships that don’t have to work at it and journey toward Christ.

3)      God’s Plan is not as situational as we make it. Think of it like this: A person is flying in a plane, and it lands 2 hours late. Which works out the best because that person ends up running into an old friend, whom they greatly missed and got a chance to re-connect with them, seeing it as God’s Will that that would happen. However, on the same flight there are 239 other people. Do those 239 other people have the same plan that God has for you? Landing 2 hours late? Do you see what I mean? God’s will for the world does not revolve around you. We can’t just make these claims as “This MUST be God’s will.” Or how about this one: A guy is going to break up with a girl if the light turns green in ten seconds and she does not call. The light turns green, and the girl is still crazy about that guy, but has a dead phone. Is that God’s Will? Can you see how that does not work? God’s will is not chance. More importantly we can’t make it so selfish. We have to remember that there is a kingdom of evil out there reacting to every move that God makes, thus meaning, attempting to take us out of Love. We can’t assume that everything that we feel blessed our cursed by is the Will of God. Is it the will of God that unemployment is disgusting right now? You see, God is a lot more complex and beautiful than our attempt to understand the Will of Life for ANYONE. It is just like what God told Daniel, that it is not for Daniel to know. (Chapter 12). So, it is not for us to know, or to simply proclaim.

I know this is a very negative note. It seems that I am just ripping on concepts that have surrounded us. So in this, let me end by saying something that is so true- Life is only filled by the Joy we find from the Love that Christ has. We can only be something if we Love. The love chapter in Corinthians proclaims that without Love we are NOTHING. To me, that is beautiful, because it is a call to Love. It says in scripture that we can Know EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING and still be nothing without Love. This is a great way to begin to view how we live. I could be the president/treasurer of every organization, be popular, have 1500 friends on FB, but if I have no Love, I have nothing. This is a challenge. Begin to slow down, allow Christ to work through you, to address the darkness you are suffering, then live out the purpose of Christ.

With much Hope and reliance on Christ to work through this,
Casey

"1 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothin"
-1st Corinthians 13:1-3 NLT


Painfully Honest

I feel very dry upon writing this. My faith is at a point where I am looking to see how God is going to fuel it. I keep going, and remember that faith is not about waiting for God to give me something to do. I feel like we often just make God this task master who only wants us to wait for Him to tell us EXACTLY what to do in every possible way. What happened to faith?

I am dry in my faith because I try SO MUCH to believe in a systematic way to achieve a blessed life. Once I feel as if God is blessing me, I feel as if it is because I am doing something right, and if everything seems to be going wrong, I feel it is because God is mad with me, and not liking what I am doing. I feel in the moments when everything is right that I am “Hearing” God. But in the moments where everything seems to go wrong, it is as if God is mute.

I feel like if I don’t define every aspect of my faith, I will be seen as just this typical so called Christian. I feel as if there is so much pressure to share my faith. But what if I don’t have enough faith left to share? What if tomorrow morning my theological points are defined differently. What if when I wake up I am Catholic and when I go to bed I am Baptist? What if I am Lutheran, Evangelical, Catholic, Covenant, Baptist, Methodist, Episcopalian, Presbyterian, Messianic, Holistic, Adventist? What if I am a Calvinist, Emergent, Reformed, Arminin, Open theist? Does this still make me a person who is absent of God’s Grace? Can’t I share my faith by sharing my life?

Have you ever noticed how brutal we truly are? I mean think of recent news, the Mosque! We are arguing so much over this! I almost feel like we don’t know what we want. Why should some kid who lives in North Dakota have a say in what happens on the grounds 3 blocks away from an Islamic Center that has basketball courts? Why should I act like I have a say in what government HAS to do? Is the government capable of having Religious Freedom? We act like if they carry the title of Islamic, they are some extremist out to kill us! I can only imagine they think the same of us. I mean heck, all around the world right now we have Christian organizations killing in the name of God (witch hunts in Africa, Bishops against Iraqi Freedom, Lord’s Resistance Army, Ku Klux Klan, Protestant Death Squads, and so many more). I know because I say that I support the governmental right that the Islamic Community Center has, I will be ridiculed by my friends who are Christians. Give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar (a verse that asks us to let the government be the government, and that we don’t control it, but instead allow the rights (Freedom to practice any religion and Freedom to build a building in an abandoned Burlington Coat Factory store) to be enacted unless they contradict and hinder your ability to walk with Christ.) How does this make us different to the world?

Do you start to see why I just get dry in my faith. I feel like EVERY corner of life is filled with oppressive questions. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the dialogue that comes from all these areas. I find it healthy. But also don’t feel offend when I say, that is not that important right now.

Have we looked recently at what is going on in today’s world? There is just so much. So much that it is nearly overwhelming.
-Untrained Doctors in a third world area informed their patients to pee on a rag and try to heal a wound, to feed their children water mixed with pigeon poop to heal their child
-Instead of spending 1.55 TRILLION dollars (Like the whole world combined did for Military), approximately $225 could be given to EVERY single person in the world
-Based on enrollment data, about 72 million children of primary school age in the developing world were not in school in 2005; 57 per cent of them were girls. And these are regarded as optimistic numbers
-Nearly a billion people entered the 21st century unable to read a book or sign their names
-Less than one per cent of what the world spent every year on weapons was needed to put every child into school by the year 2000 (The children are still not in school)
- The poorer the country, the more likely it is that debt repayments are being extracted directly from people who neither contracted the loans nor received any of the money
-8 Billion dollars were spent on cosmetics in the United States in 1998
-An estimated 24,000 kids die every day due to poverty around the world
-Families who have husbands, wives, daughters, sons, parents, siblings overseas have limited contact with their family
-Parents who have a child with a disability are more in danger of getting a divorce then parents who have a child who is without a disability or disorder.

This is just the TIP of the iceberg and STILL does not address one of the LARGEST concerns.

“Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.”- Mother Teresa

The worst part of life is, HOW MANY PEOPLE are alone. The greatest poverty is going to bed feeling as if you are worthless. That eats at us faster than hunger and poverty. A middle school student who goes to bed thinking everyone hates them is a tragedy. A person who has an eating disorder because they have no control over their life and hate everything about them is a HUGE travesty. A person who self-mutilates to control one thing in their life and because they feel as if life is spinning out of control is just heart-wrenching. A child who wants to end their life because they feel unwanted, without purpose is just unbearable.

33,000 suicides per year(1800 attempts a day) and we considered a book burning of the Quran.

How do we have time to wait for the Lord to tell us to move when God has shown us a world that desperately is in need of reconciliation back to Jesus. We live in a world that is crying out for Love.

“There is more hunger in the world for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.”- Mother Teresa

So I realize why I am dried up. There is just SO MUCH to get done, but I spend so much of my energy fixing a religion. Christianity is not a perfect religion. I get that. I get that not everyone is called to missions in Chili. However, EVERYONE is called to the mission of the Kingdom. We don’t have to wait to hear God on that. The Kingdom moves with Love. I can’t feed every single person, but I can surely attempt to feed at least one person. I can’t change the fact that students want to take their life out of complete hopelessness, but I can surely share my life with them in a way where they begin to see that God has a purpose for them. I can’t end eating disorders, but I can love a person to the point of recovery that they choose to be courageous enough to endure. I can’t make every person literate, but I can at least help someone learn how to sign their name.

Recently I have been writing all these letters to my friends, about my quest to grow closer to the Lord and to see what God is placing on my heart to pursue in the context of a relationship. I still am on that adventure, however, it continues to take so many turns. I never knew growing in my relationship would be so hard but so beautiful. It has not been easy, and has had MANY times of doubts, and many times of being dry and stale, but God has been recklessly pursuing me, even when I have resisted it.

I am realizing that there is more to life then viewing people as saved and unsaved, but instead viewing them as Christ does, with a reckless Love that knows no depth, nor height, nor width and is not even conceivable to our concept of knowledge. People are not labels, they are our neighbors.

Love is very powerful. I find that God speaks to me while I am writing, and I begin to see the cracks of where truth must shine. Maybe instead of trying to define faith and making all these decisions, I just recklessly pursue God, by recklessly Loving my neighbor because God has this relentless and reckless Love for me that I will never begin to comprehend.

Hebrews 6:11
"11 Our great desire is that you will keep on loving others as long as life lasts, in order to make certain that what you hope for will come true. 12 Then you will not become spiritually dull and indifferent. Instead, you will follow the example of those who are going to inherit God’s promises because of their faith and endurance."

Much Love,
Casey


A Letter to my Friends (Chain Letters and True Friends edition)

Dear Friends,

Have you ever noticed what people long for in this world? It is interesting. Have you ever read any chain letters? I remember growing up when we first got e-mail and getting letters about how if we don’t send it to everyone in our contact list, Bloody Mary was going to come and kill you, or if you send it to 10 friends your true love will reveal themselves at midnight tonight, but if you don’t you will have 10 years of bad luck… THAT EXPLAINS SO MUCH… Kidding.

Have you ever noticed that before? Have you ever noticed how we want to believe something, ESP the last one! I am know a lot of it has to do with the fact that we can experience the truth of this instantly. I remember testing it out. I sent it to 10 friends, and let me tell you, my true love never revealed themselves to me (I even stayed up until midnight in several time zones just in case!)

You see, that is just how we are. We long for so many things in life. I remember some chain letters talking about how we will have the most friends if we send it on. The reason I remember it, is because it is one that I received a lot from my friends. If it was not that one, it was the one about how if I deny God by not sending this letter, then Jesus will deny me before our Heavenly Father…

What is it that we buy into? How about friendship? What do we believe is and must be true inside a friendship?

Did you know that you can’t have a successful marriage if you are not even friends?

Much Love,
Casey S. Hayden

You get the gist by now- I am explaining it-

Women- I hesitate talking to you about friendships. Partially because I just have no clue how they work. Literally, I have tried these past few months to analyze them and attempt to understand them… I have gotten nowhere. There is such a deep connection between them. Even if you have deep feelings of disgust, you still are somehow connected. You know exactly how they operate, even when you say you don’t have a clue as to why someone did what they did. The weirdest thing is that even without talking to your friend, you know exactly what they need.

I say I don’t get it not because I think it is silly, I say it because that is all I have experienced.  I am going to be real open right now. I am going to show you something that I LOVE my mom for, but MAN am I just downright embrassed to say it, because inside of me it makes me feel weak, EVEN THOUGH, I know I am not weak because of this. My mom is a SAINT. She knows exactly what I need EVEN if I am calling her on the phone. I don’t get it. All I have to say is “Mom, I am sick.” And I don’t even have to tell her what my symptoms are. Or take this for example, I was home over Christmas break 09’ and I had an infection in my tailbone. My mom did not pamper me, but she cared for me. I am convinced that helped with my process of healing. Not to mention the endless amounts of Ginger Ale (seriously, she never had my bottle empty!). But what is amazing is, that is not the only example of my mom that is just amazing. My mom knits or sews (sorry I should know this) Prayer Shawls. They are these huge shawls that people who are going through rough times (cancer, illness, financial crisis, family troubles, addictions, ETC). This is how amazing she is, she gets all the yarn, and as she knits/sews, she is praying. She is praying prayers of love for these people, some of them she does not even know! She then sends them to small groups, and pastoral staff and family members to pray over the shawl. Then once the person or persons receive it, they are receiving a shawl that will wrap them with warmth physically and spiritually. She also sends cards to people who are grieving. I get too nervous to read them because they are so powerful. People love those comforting words she can write. I LOVE that about my mother. She is so powerful in that way! She knows exactly what people need, and exactly how to give just that. I love hearing stories about how my mother has effected peoples lives. I remember someone asking me if my mom would ever come back to the Minnesota area, they just loved my mom so much, and really enjoyed her warmth she had to offer and how they could find comfort in her words. THAT IS LOVE right there. My mom befriended the most random people, but MAN did she impact their lives in ways I will never understand.

And that is just ok with me. I don’t need to understand how friendships among women work. I don’t need to try and figure out WHY my mom does things out of the out pour of her heart. I don’t need to try to understand WHY. But I do have a few challenges, and they may sound a little harsh, but just follow me:

1)      Friends are great, they are great to release all this information onto. They are great for you because that is how you operate. However relying on your friends during a relationship may not be the healthiest thing. I have seen so many relationships ruined because you relied on your friend more than on Christ together with the person you are with. Friends are not in the relationship, they are only spectators and I VERY much believe they should be involved, but they should not be your source of decision making skills. Friendships in the relationship are so important but do not rely on them.

2)      Stop holding on to your long lost love. I have seen so many future relationships ruined because you can’t let go of your past relationship. In a majority of those cases, you recognized moments of pure joy, and you are trying to capture them again. Moments when it was just right. And you just can’t let that go. I get that. I applaud you because this all means something to you, and that you can hold onto that feeling for SO long. Move on though. Even if you end up back in a relationship with them, you do not want it to be based off of old feelings, but instead, based on the truth of where you both are now, as individuals and a couple in Christ. You see when you base a relationship off of what is was in the past, then that is what it will be in the future. If you don’t move on from that, then you will never be able to have a new relationship. Forgiveness and reconciliation are so important. I beg you to stop holding on to a notion that your Past One True Love will sweep you off your feet, because I know you are missing the true one who wants to actually sweep you off your feet. You are missing the one who won’t leave you but will work it out with you. I understand why you are holding on to it. The feelings are always overwhelming, but I promise you, if you let go, God will lead you through life showing you all the types of people who have much more promise than the one you are holding on to. It would be much better to let go, and have them work together with you back into a relationship then it would be for you to lie to yourself about them having to work hard to get you back and then they have you in 2 conversations. Just stop. We see through that. Move on, because you are worth someone who cares about you and is willing to fight for you. Don't wait for long lost lover. Move on, and let all relationships be new. I know this is hard.

3)      Keep being the best friend you can be, but don’t overpower. One thing I LOVE about my mom, is she was never overpowering. She was just right. She involved herself to the healthiest amount. I admire her for that. She understands that she can’t fight the battle for other people EVEN if she wanted to. She could essentially only sit with them in a storm. And trust me, my mom sat in her fair share of storms with people and by herself. Think of this challenge like this- Listen to this song- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PP4F3G8L41Y and then utilize this in friendships and romantic relationships.

Men- This will not be that long winded. One thing I do want to touch on is the fact that we often have to ask what is going on in the lives of our friends. We have to be willing to jump into this.

So, I have 1 challenge for you. It is simple and straight to the point. (You get off the hook this time):
1)      Start being a real man, and start caring about the men in your life. Know what is going on in your friends life. Most of you might say to me that your friendship is not based off of this, and that you operate different then everyone else. Welp. I am going to pull the malarkey card and say we NEED to release stuff that is going on inside of us because we simply just can’t operate until we have someone we can go to. If you are in a relationship, I beg you to be honest with her, but also have a friend that you can go to and share, and they can share and be open with you about life. I know it sounds cowardly, but you will be more of a man that men like if they can trust you with anything.

Both- This section is simple. Start making a difference. In the very beginning I was telling you about these chain letters. I realized why I thought they were important. I thought that way because people would send them to me. They took the time to send them to me. They gave me worth. How true is that in all areas of life. I only value my close friends because they give me worth. They like me, so I like them. Makes sense right? I want to talk straight to some of my friends who are recently out of rehab, and who are recently trying to stop whatever they are addicted to. I will not use their name, but I want to use the phrases they have told me recently. “Once I stopped drinking, I stopped getting phone calls to hang out with them.””Once I stopped smoking pot, everyone thought I was going to cave in, and they just doubted me””Once I stopped drinking, smoking and sleeping around, not only did I feel the guilt and shame of it all, but I had no one to process with me through it because all of my friends where doin that stuff.”…. I think you get the picture. I praise the Lord everyday for these people being my friends. They are true blessings to me. God has worked through them to show me His true grace and the depth of His Love! I can promise you though, they had months (some had years) of little to no friendships. They went through some of the deepest of darkness before they began to see a shed of light, and for some of them, that light came MONTHS after they crossed the line of Faith. So, this is where you and I come in. When people are trying to stop doing drugs, or drinking so much or just simply trying to get out of an abusive friend group, what are you going to do? Are you going to help? Are you going to tear down this wall of judgment that says- they are druggies or whores or alcoholics or potheads- and begin to be a part of their lives?

1 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing. (1 Cor 13:1-3)

I am not sure how many of you know how prevalent suicide is. People commit suicide typically at a place of complete and utter hopelessness. Last school year, there were 4 suicides at the University of North Dakota, there were 3 suicides in Woodbury/Cottage Grove cities in a matter of 5 months. 7 Suicides in less than one year in the communities I am in. This does not even began to touch the suicides in the twin city area, or even begin to look at the amount of suicide attempts. We must do something about this. We can’t sit here any longer and allow this to happen. My heart is breaking just writing this, because 1 attempt to end a life is 1 attempt too many and one step too close to suicide. This is not the time to be pointing fingers, this is the time to be finding purpose. This is the time to be giving out worth to every person. We are wired as humans to desire human contact and connection through relationships. We are wired (I now believe 100% of us) for marriage. That is just who we are. We need to battle this right now. If you know someone who is struggling with suicide, don’t hold that in. Don’t try to keep them alive on your own. If you know someone who is addicted to any substance, don’t let them try to stop on their own. If you know someone who is self-mutilating, and can’t handle life, give them control back in any way and don’t let them be in it alone. If you know someone who is struggling with an eating disorder, don’t hold that in, get them the help they need. Now is not a time to just sit back and relax. Our world is in DIRE need of Love. People are finding purpose in their addiction. People are feeling like an obligation in suicide. People are seeing false self images. People are feeling out of control. Now is your chance. Now is your chance to be a part of peoples lives by loving them with a driven purpose. Don’t be afraid to get them the help they need. Don’t be afraid to listen to everything they are going through. Don’t be afraid to call them to hang out with you. If you want more information, please let me know. There is always hope. I am not tyring to make this sound simple, infact it is the opposite. What I am asking you to do though is to get out there. It is not your fault if someone takes their life, or if someone is addicted or if someone is depriving themselves of food. That is not for you to take the blame. I am asking you though, that if you know this is going on, to not be afriad to listen and get them the help they need. I am not asking you to take on the world alone. I am asking you to seek Christ, and because of that, you seek out His creation who are sitting in the darkness believing there is no hope. There is always help. There is always Hope. Every person has a purpose. Start to seek that with them.

My dad said it best, to me once “If you strip everything away you realize that all that matters are relationships, with people and with God.”

Much Love,
Casey Hayden

Purpose and Repentance

"If the gospel isn't good news for everybody, then it isn't good news for anybody. And this is because the most powerful things happen when the church surrenders its desire to convert people and convincethem to join. It is when the church gives itself away in radical acts ofservice and compassion, expecting nothing in return, that the way of Jesus ismost vividly put on display. To do this, the church must stop thinking about everybody primarily in categories of in or out, saved or not, believer or nonbeliever. Besides the fact that these terms are offensive to those who arethe "un" and "non", they work against Jesus' teachings about how we are to treat each other. Jesus commanded us to love our neighbo, and our neighbor can be anybody. We are all created in the image of God, and weare all sacred, valuable creations of God. Everybody matters. To treat people differently based on who believes what is to fail to respect the image of Godin everyone. As the book of James says, "God shows no favoritism." Sowe don't either."- Rob Bell

I feel as if I am to blame. I am going to be really hard on myself, because I am often the one at the front of this.

I want to make a public statement right now. I want to say sorry. Sorry to every single person I have chided or wronged. Please, over these next few days, I will pray for forgiveness. I am sorry to every person that is a homosexual that I have ever made the brunt of my jokes. I am sorry to every woman I have ever looked at poorly, called a slut or any other derogatory name. I am sorry to every guy who I called an idiot or thought was shallow ornever gave the time of day to. I am sorry to every person who has been hurt bymy words. I am sorry to every person that has felt coldness from me. I am sorry to every person who I have judged before I have even met them. Most importantly, I am sorry to every person that I looked at as saved or unsaved, and did not just simply ascribe worth.

I am just sorry. I do ask for forgiveness. You see, I chose to see what I wanted to seeout of a person. I looked at them in a way that gave me permission to judge them, but made me work hard to Love them. It is hard to change this. It is not going to be easy, but I can't live like this anymore. If one more person I know or meet goes a minute without Love, or with loneliness or intense anger or resentment, I may lose it. I can't handle it. PLEASE Forgive me, because I know NOW what I have done.

You see Living the Gospel is what we are called to. I just want to say this, if we tell the world that God does not need us to advance His kingdom, then why do we bother to stick up for Jesus? Why do we bother spreading the Gospel if we don't have purpose or value?

I guess in a way you are right. God does not need us. God does not have to work through us. But God has chosen to. God wants us. For some messed up, incomprehensible reason, God wants us. Maybe that is enough.

I have spent SO MUCH time attempting to define sin, but maybe God is not calling me to that, but instead to be out there, Loving EVERY single person that I come across. The more time I spend attempting to defineand judge sin, the more I forget about the fact that my neighbor is crying out to be accepted just by ONE person. The more I try to figure out sin, thefurther away I feel from God, because typically my Love for God's creation is empty and cold. How quickly do we forget the two greatest commandments- Love the Lord your God and Love your neighbor as yourself. When did we add to this? What about this verse?

Luke 6:42- "How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,'when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye"

I must change. I have spent SO much time attempting to judge sin, but I forget that the Holy Spirit is leading me and attempting to remove the plank from my eye that I so desperately hold onto.

I have heard it saidrecently that to Love is to hate sin. Maybe that is not Love. Have you ever noticed that Love is never described this way, in fact we are only told to hate evil? Evil and sin are different, because of evil we have sin, because we commit evil acts, we sin, evil can exist without sin, but sin cannot exist without evil. Evil is the over arching enemy, sin is the viewpoint of it all.We commit acts of evil out of the way we view life- sin. We ridicule the poor,out of our viewpoint of sin, thus meaning we are committing acts of evil.

In fact God is recklessly in Love with us, but yet, we still sin. It is mind boggling, but stick with me. When you Love someone, it has nothing to do with correcting their life, right? I mean, you don't go around saying I am going to Love that person because they need help to change who they are, do you?

This is a simple thought, but what if we did just Love. What if we woke up, and instead of thinking SO MUCH about how to earn our identity, or how people must earn compassion, we realize that our identity is in God who has set us free and we recognize that freedom is not earned but freely given and that people don't earn our compassion they deserve it.

What would it look like if every person who was different than us we embraced with warmth? What would it look like if we outlawed condemnation in our hearts? What if instead of trying to convince, convert and change people, we simple took them as they were? What if the next time someone opened up to us we just listened? What if we chose our friends by allowing anyone into our life?

Mike Yaconelli says it best-" Apparently God doesn't care who He loves. He is not very careful about the people He calls His friends or the people He calls Hischurch."

It is just so interesting to me, that when I read scripture,I read that Jesus tells the religious leaders that the Prostitutes and Tax Collectors will enter the Kingdom of God before they will... Or the fact that acriminal being hung on the cross is shown grace and Love. It is interesting because I thought that I have to live a righteous blameless life trying to sinless.

People say that preaching the Gospel is the most important thing. But what about living the Gospel? What about Loving people?

The problem is, when we just preach the Gospel, we forgetone key thing, living it. Apparently there are a lot of Christians in this world. What if we exchanged our worded version of the Gospel with a life long journey with God's creation, listening and Loving them, not to change them orconvince them, but to be the hands and feet of Jesus, to imitate the characterof Christ by serving them?

What if we realized that Love, being as important as it is, begins to set people free? You see, there is a lesson in the book of James thatreminds us not to choose people based off appearance or status- 1My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don't show favoritism. 2Suppose a mancomes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man inshabby clothes also comes in. 3If you show special attention to theman wearing fine clothes and say, "Here's a good seat for you," butsay to the poor man, "You stand there" or "Sit on the floor bymy feet," 4have you not discriminated among yourselves andbecome judges with evil thoughts? (James 2:1-4)

Interesting isn't it? Who are we passing by in life?

What if we could make a difference? People keep telling methat we are just judgmental people, that is just how we are. For some reason though, I refuse to accept that as an answer.

Not everyone is going to be like you, like the people in your church, like the people in your community, like your friends or family, BUT We must remember that God takes all the people I reject and have rejected to build the Kingdom of God on.

People are in pain right now, massive amounts of pain. Loveis not telling them what they have to do, Love is a journey through life with those we Love.

A Letter to my Friends (Something Hit Me)

Dear Friends,

I have realized something real recently. I have been writing all these letters and I still feel like I am missing something. I still feel like there is something I am failing to mention. I would Love to say I have the answer, or that I have figured out the cure-all, but that would be stealing it from Jesus. I have begun to realize how relationships can grow to the strongest potential. I feel as if I have just been coasting, and trying to believe what I am saying! I have been missing it.

When we care for someone, it must be sacrificial. If we say Love never fails, do we actually believe it? If we say together forever, do we really mean it? If we say that it is about Faith, Hope and Love and the greatest of these is Love, do we truthfully follow it? Are you pickin up what I’m throwin down?

I wrote my last post about how God has this reckless Love for us, but it is really hard to understand because of our twisted view of Love. I meant that. I know God has this impossible to understand Love for me. God also wants us to have that same Love for each other.

Now I am going to ask you to be honest with yourself, look deep inside and see what is holding you back. What is it that makes you wait to fully and unconditionally Love someone?...

With Love,
Casey S. Hayden

OOOO Wait, let me explain!

Woman- I want to talk straight to you. Partially because you understand one aspect of this much better than most men ever could. You know how to recklessly feel love. You get that. However, sometimes you forget that Love is what binds everything together.

12Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. (Col 3:12-14)

Trust me, you get that Love is powerful! Which is amazing, that is just wonderful! However, there are a few things I would like to just note-

1) Is the person you are with right now compassionate? Humble? Kind? Gentle? Patient? Does he forgive? I mean seriously, look into this. Right now, you may be smitten over the perfect man! He treats you very well, and cares so deeply about you. I get that. But how is he every day? Every moment? Does he bind everything with a Love that seeks unity? Heck, this seems weak doesn’t? I mean even writing it I almost feel as if this is for a sissy. But I am realizing something. Christ embodied all of these. Christ had this compassion that every sick, poor, crippled, diseased, whore, fatherless, broken and desolate person sought and received! Christ was humble and kind and patient and gentle. Christ also recklessly Loves everyone! Now, I am going to ask again, is the man you are after ANY of these things? I would ask you why you are with them, but to be honest, I could probably guess your answer- You Love him! In fact, I get that so much that I almost applaud you. Because I do believe you Love the person you are with, even if they treat you like garbage! Why would you not love them! They give you value enough to hurt you. So then you end up finding purpose in trying to make it work! I swear, nearly all woman who are in a relationship, that they are committed to, want to make it work! WHY WOULD THEY NOT!! I am not trying to sound sarcastic, because I do firmly believe you Love them, even if they treat you amazingly well or like complete garbage! That feeling of purpose is irrefutable!! SO this is what I want to talk to you about today, get out. You are SO deserving of someone who is striving to be Christ-like! But, I get it. I understand why you stay in that relationship. I mean after all we are a Christian culture that firmly believes in hope. We place our faith in it! We have taught you to keep up the hope. To keep up the hope that they will change! I get it! Why not stay in the relationship for so long if you are being taught HOPE! I get it.You will end up in more pain trying to make your relationship work by yourself. But look into finding a Christ-like man (Not a Christiany man, not a catholic or evangelical or Baptist).This is not simple, but just get out into this world and find the people who are desiring to be needed and give freely to them. Serve Christ in a new way everyday until you come across a guy who smiles at you because he knows you are worth smiling about. If you are tired of waiting for the “perfect one”, and are afraid to be alone, I say face the fear of being alone, instead of trading it in for a person you settled for, who gives you purpose by making himself the center. You are worth it, and deserve it. I beg you to wait through it all! But also start giving back to the community and to people around you. Follow God into the homes of the broken with a genuine heart!

2) The phrase- It will all be ok in the end, and if it’s not ok, then it’s not the end… Is true in nearly ALL situations, except relationships. You want to know why most women carry resentment or pain or shame and guilt… Because something ended, but never had any reconciliation. I know of women who have slept around, no longer talk to those guys who they swore they loved, but could never fully let them go. It was the end of their relationships with those men, but yet they were not ok. They used this phrase to try to get through. They just could not get it. They were not ok. They spent all their time trying to be ok, they never got a chance to deal with the fact that it was the end, but they were still in a deep amount of pain. Relationships have a way of working out like that, even if no intimacy was shared. Don’t let your past or current relationships depict your future. You want to know why it is impossible to fully let go of a relationship if you are intimate with your partner… Because you leave a part of you with them every time. You were not created to just have a piece of you given to every man you are intimate with. However, Christ died so we could all be whole again, so that we no longer have to feel the incompleteness of giving away a piece of us to people we never desired to. God did not create us for guilt through incompleteness, but freedom through His redeeming Love that makes us whole. What will be important is if a relationship ends, and there will be pain, your best bet is to not convince yourself through it, but to work through it. Otherwise if you plan to date again, you will have a large amount of baggage with you, weighing you down. I have seen a large amount of strong women leave the church because they let the baggage of their past build up to a point where it consumed them. My prayer is that you unpack your baggage! AND Not alone!

Men- This is simple. I will always be saying this. Your job now, and this is something I am working through, to begin to understand how to meet physical and spiritual needs! If you look at that verse in Colossians that I placed up yonder, you will see some of the most important virtues to ever have.
If you want a relationship, begin to obtain those virtues. Otherwise, you will fail.
Here are some challenges-

1) Be compassionate. I BEG YOU. If you are not compassionate, your relationship will fail. Begin to see her needs. Both physical and spiritual. If you can learn how to meet them, then you will grow together successfully. This is not easy. This requires hours of listening, and hours of deep empathy that you may not seem to have. This will also require sacrifice… I know. Rough. But when you are compassionate you can grow to be humble. When you are humble, you empower the person you are pursuing, every day! When you are humble, you learn to be kind to her, and understanding. When you are understanding, you learn to be gentle because they are digging through so much. Women have this ability to obtain baggage FAST, the last thing you need to do is to pile more baggage on. Be gentle with her. Be patient with her, her friends, her family and so on.. I have told you many times to forgive freely. If you don’t forgive freely, then you will be trapped by it. Forgiveness is a release from the pain and hurt. One of the best qualities you have control over more than most is forgiveness. When you forgive, it is a choice to choose Christ and Love over hurt and grudges. In all this you will find a deep Love that will bind everything together to create unity! That is how God moves, when you begin to become more like Him, you give God permission to teach you and lead you.

1.5) Also, side point- breaking up because you are not sure where the relationship is going and using God as a scapegoat is weak and shallow. If you are following God, you will give her a more truthful reason. If you are not in the relationship anymore, then just be done, don’t lead her on, because she believe that someday you two will get back together once you “grow closer to God.” In my personal opinion, taking a break is pointless. Never leave room for confusion. Also, to be honest, the best thing you could do if you still have any feelings for her is to stay in it and find new ways to stay committed, to stay true. Grow deeper, because if you dated her to just date her, your relationship will be odd. But if you dated her to grow together knowing she may be the potential person, then keep on treckin! You will always have your guys friends and God with you through it all. So don’t just end it UNLESS you are sure it is over. Grow together, and be honest through it all! That is my biggest challenge!! Just be honest, if you are not sure how you feel at the moment just work through it with her! If you are certain she is the one, then make sure you treat her that way! God has a crazy way of leading us to a point of peace… He never meant for us to be alone though. If you want freedom, freely give.

2) Physical and Spiritual- Helping someone is not giving them something you think they need, it is giving them the thing they need. Both Spiritual (Christ working through you and your actions towards them) and Physical (actual actions, serving them, giving them money… etc). The best way you can learn to be sacrificial in this, and start loving people the best is to start doing this with everyone around you. When you begin opening your eyes like this, you will start to be like this with the person you will fall in Love with! When you can do that with people you are not intimate with, it will become easier to meet the needs of someone you return home to if you are married. This is how Christ works in us! Start doing this! Start living this way! It opens your eyes!

3) I give girls a hard time a lot for dating jerks, and I give guys a hard time because we need to step up. However, this time, I want to talk to you. I am beginning VERY VERY slowly to see what it is like to see Christ-like. So I wanted to say one last thing in defense to men. If you are with a girl that treats you like crap, that could care less about what you are going through, who talks poorly and tries to embarrass you publicly and behind your back, is trying to get you to sleep with her, is trying to make you look like that bad guy, GET OUT. Guys, not even the manliest of men can survive that. Guys, I have told girls for SO LONG they deserve a good man… I mean that to be you. I mean to encourage you to realize that you can be that right man! I don’t think God has this perfect woman out there waiting, but I know God has a personality and spirituality that mesh with yours! I know you deserve to have a spouse who Loves you dearly, and cares about you! You deserve to have a wife who complements you, as you complement them! I know it is easy for me to rip on the guys, but listen, I know there are good men out there, not just a few, but many! I pray that you step forward because in a dying and evil world, we are in dire need of you!

Both- I have been waiting the longest to write this! I have SO MUCH I want to say, ESP to expand from what I started with! Do we believe Love never fails? And if so, why are we allowing it to? You see, I do believe Love NEVER fails. Our problem is that we can only see in a context of a self-serving love that never fails. I mean think about it. We can love ourselves because for most of us, we can’t abandon us. Even if we have the largest amount of guilt built up in us, we still have this ability to serve ourselves… trust me when I say this, it is SO important we love ourselves! SOO important, however, we are not called to love others the way we love ourselves. Infact, we are called to be sacrificial with our Love! Think about it. There is no greater love than to what… Lay your life down for your friend… Are we doing that? Are we loving people sacrificially? I am not talking just spouse, but I am also saying, siblings, parents, kids, your own kids… Are we laying down our life? If not, why not? Why can’t we… Is it because we are fearful of what will happen? Is it because we have to save some for us? Have we learned nothing from a world that saves for itself… We have a poverty rate on the rise, infant mortality is off the charts, clean water is hard to come by, homes are foreclosed and families can’t afford surgery… I could go on. We are not sacrificial, that is exactly why the Rich Young Ruler is inside ALL of us. Can we give up everything? Love fails because we save it for ourselves. If you want a relationship to work, you need to start sacrificing. Start giving up yourself. We experience the truth of the Cross of Christ when we give our two copper coins. Then and only then can we find Christ. We want a marriage to work, we must learn to be sacrificial. You need to give up everything to follow God, and learn to Love your girl/boyfriend, husband or wife the way they need to be loved, because if you don’t… your relationship will fail. Both of you need to start serving each other. You need to start sacrificing for each other. So I beg you to serve each other, when you change your ways from self-serving Love to sacrificial Love, you will begin to see a God who is RECKLESSLY in Love with you, and the person you are learning to Love! (TRUST THIS IS NOT EASY, I am learning with you on this, but we MUST move towards it)

NOW, This part may cause a ruckus, but I have been honest a lot recently, and I figured, I better continue. I do not like the phrase everything happens for a reason. I don’t. In fact I have a hard time saying it. Because, to be honest, I do not think it is true. In the least bit. I firmly believe that there is evil in this world. This evil desires to destroy anything it comes across. I firmly believe that a child dying from cancer is not the will of God. I firmly believe that if you are dating a girl that makes you feel guilty is not God’s will. I believe that a person dying from drug overdose is not the will of God. I just don’t see it. ESPECIALLY with non-believers. I do believe God has the potential to discipline His believers, we see that in scripture (Hebrews, Acts). But to automatically assume that this is from God, is not wholesome or truthful. Even what happened to Job was not from God, but from the king of Evil! I am saying this because recently a lot of things have happened around me that I KNOW can’t be the will of God. It is all the consequence of sin. It is that our world is mastered by the will of evil that we buy into. Suicide, not the will of God. Teen Drug addiction, not the will of God. Teen pregnancy, not the will of God. I promise you, not everything happens for a reason. There are things that happen for a reason, Christ is divine and spiritual in that way, because Christ moves with purpose. But to say everything happens for a reason, is just downright wrong. God is more loving than to force teenagers into a drug addiction. God is way more loving than to force someone to commit suicide. BUT I will say this, behind EVERYTHING there can come good. Behind everything that happens, we can learn and grow together. None of the things that cause us pain [suicide, gossip, drug addiction, teen pregnancy, abortion, cancer…etc] can ever destroy us. Love is more powerful than that. Think about it. God is greater than that! I don’t believe everything happens for a reason, but I do believe we can Love God and all of creation because of everything that does happen. Don’t explain that a child died from an abusive situation and that it happened for a reason, but Love every single person that enters our life, because we have no clue the baggage they carry.

God has a reckless Love for you! I pray you know that! I can write all of these letters, and I pray you take something away from my journey to life, my walk to God. However, know I write this because I KNOW God has a RECKLESS UNSEPAREABLE LOVE for you. God has no plan to hurt you or destroy you. God is all about LOVE!

Please feel free to write to me, or message me or call me or whatever! I would love to talk more about anything!

Much Love,
Casey