The Adventures to come in 2014

I am very excited to announce several things I will be doing in the next year.

If you must know, I believe in dreaming big and planning little... Joke. But a lot of this has been on my mind and heart for the past few months. SO, here it goes. I will give you a general overview of what I Plan to do in the next upcoming year.

Social
1) The top number 1 plan of 2014, I am going to smile more. This sounds so corny but I have met with so many people the past two years who have NO CLUE that they are worth smiling about. It is as a professor once told me and later a Pastor "A smile indicates to that person, they are worth smiling about!"

It is my simple plan of showing people they matter.

2) I will get married this year. JOKE, but I have made a point to at least go on dates. I have not really made time for this in my life. I use to not really care, but recently, I guess you could say, I have started to care? So, needless to say, I have created a simple application for women to fill out.... Obviously that was a joke, probably came from my insecurity of talking about this subject publicly.

3) I am going to dance more!!  Seriously, I love dancing. NOW, I am not talking about the grinding their booty into my body dance. I want to look the person in the face that I am dancing with. Nothing is better!

4) I will try my hardest to see my parents, brothers and sister-in-laws, and all my nieces and nephews at least once every 6 weeks. I want to see them play soccer, go to school events. I want to see them grow up! Those kids really do mean the world to me!

4.5) I will try to see my extended family at a minimum three times in the next year! Even if it is for a day! (It does help that most live in Florida)

5) I will try to eat at one new restaurant and try some new food, once a month. Even if I find it to be repulsive, I will try it. Unless it is tofu. OK, maybe tofu.

6) I am going to cook a HUGE meal for as many people who can show up. It will be southern style. It will have sweet tea. And you will be invited!

7) I need to visit friends who live in different parts of the country!

Adventure
1) I plan to visit four countries I have never visited before. Here is the best part.... I am going to let my subscribers/facebookers/twitterers decide two of them. I am going to let my jr highers decide the other two. SO... Start thinking of places to send me. While I am there, I will have to do one crazy thing.... That you all will vote on as well.

2) I am going to hike a mountain. One in 'Merica, one not in 'Merica. Yes, I will conquer this fear of heights by hiking some pretty tall mountains. And, I will do so by bravely crying ever shaken step of the way. Unless my hands are cold, then I will just want to punch something out of anger, and no fear will be involved.

2.5) I will jump off a cliff into water.

3) I am going to Kayak for several days. I want to plan a several day kayaking trip where we Kayak pretty far (or by myself). I haven't kayaked since college, and I am craving it!!

4) I am going to fish. Deep sea fishing, shallow sea fishing, lake fishing. I will also learn to fly fish. I am excited!!

5) Jack Caron will be teaching me to golf.... I hope I do not swear during the process.

6) I am going to play soccer with some kids in the slums in one of the countries I visit. Naturally I will destroy them, but if they win, I will admit to a tie.

7) I plan to finish my reading list (about 16 books behind, currently in the middle of 5 books)

Missional
I plan to create two partnerships this year internationally, two partnerships domestically and two partnerships locally.

1) Internationally: International Justice Mission will be an organization that I partner with. I will also be partnering with an Orphanage. The ONLY problem is, I will probably want to adopt 90% of the children.

2) Domestically: I want to help a few friends who will be starting their Social Enterprise/Non-profit within the next few months. I will also be looking into

3) Locally: I know some areas that I really want to help in. But I am looking into groups like Tubmen, who help families who are displaced from their homes due to domestic violence. I also want to do more with Food Banks. SO if you know of areas needing help, let me know!

I want to also point out one thing, if none of these happen or all of these happen, I will be grateful to the fact that I went into this year having a family that loves me, friends that support me, a job, a car, shelter, and free flights....

Now... The question is... Who wants to join me? Who wants to add to this adventure? I am willing to change parts of this, invite you in on this and thoroughly enjoy every part!!

So, join me in the adventure of 2014!!

When we hate who we are Part 1

First and Foremost, Merry Eve of Christmas to you all. If you are reading this today, I hope this acts as an encouragement, not as a depressor. This is a powerful season that can often be misguided....

I got a message recently that says "Casey, I don't want to be me anymore...." Intrigued, I sent just a simple question back "Why is this?" His response, simple, profound and sadly, common. "Because if I can't accept who I am, how will others? I mean, I hate me. I hate how I look, I hate how I act, I hate so much."

I remember when I partnered with the Crisis Intervention Team years ago through one of my professors at college. We worked on a few projects together, and I helped when I could. I received a call, my first call ever, of a student attempting to take their life. I had read some of the messages she had sent to her friend. The first thing she says "No one would even notice I was gone, I am not like the other people...." There were an array of other messages, all pointing to this idea that they find no value, worth or beauty in herself.

The problem our society faces as a whole is often more of an inner battle. You see, in both of these situations, there was a

So then, we need to ask:

Do I accept myself? Better yet, what stops me?

If we fully address these questions, we discover a profound sense of freedom.

We often hold ourselves back more often then we should. We are afraid to confront who we are because we are looking for affirmation in any way we can. I think a lot of this stems from what we tie our value and worth to. For example, how many times have you heard a father tell his daughter "you are beautiful!" That is a remarkable thing, and more fathers should say that. However, it begins to tie the worth of the daughter to her beauty. It feels good to be praised, and when the opportunity comes to be affirmed, they will seek it out. A lot of times we go to great lengths to sense just a piece of that affirmation.

Same goes for guys. We tie our identity and worth to what we were told is manly: Strength. Being weak is frowned about. So we immediately created this complex and competition with in us that makes us strive to be the best in others standards.

Our belief about who we are matters. That the greatest commandment that we find in Matthew: "The two greatest commandments are this, Love the Lord your God with all you have and love your neighbor as yourself."

This can be taken in two ways, don't love yourself more than your neighbor or (as I take it) love yourself so that you may love your neighbor.

God knows that if we don't accept ourself, we will never accept others. We will envy them. We will compete against them in a negative way. We will constantly compare. We will not fully accept them as they are because we haven't accepted who we can be.

You see, you are beautiful, physically and spiritually. However, your beauty is not all you are. You are smart. But you are more than that. You are a joy. You are still more than that. You are needed. You are still more. I contend, if you believe in what scripture has to say about who you are, your worth will be infinite. You will recognize the freedom that comes from accepting who you are.

We fall into groups and stereotypes because it is easy. They tell us who we are. We know that if I fit in the nerdy group, there is a certain way to act. We know if we hang out with the jocks, we act like the stereotypical jock. We begin to mold our character to be accepted by that which attempts to define us. We become reserved and with holding of ourselves because of the fear that others will see something in us that could tarnish our acceptance.

This Christmas, I find great hope. I find this season to truly be a season of hope. We can find that hope in what is to come. We celebrate the Birth of Christ around this time of year. We point to this infant, born of a virgin, born into a world, broken, just like ours is today, and we discover that through the life, death and resurrection of this child, we have this amazing sense of freedom. You see, the life of Christ shows you, living passionately generates a faster rate of acceptance for yourself.

BUT you have to risk. You have to ask yourself, "Am I worth accepting myself? Am I worth it as a human?" I contend when you move past this, your ability to challenge and change the world becomes unstoppable. It is like a mustard seed, very small, but what comes from that is a massive tree. If you risk just enough, you create a tree. When you risk in relationships, it often hurts, mainly because the person you risk for, is typically in the same boat.

The problem is, we don't see it this way. We don't recognize that the life of Christ points to a life of freedom. Sadly, most of us stay rooted in the safety of our own routine. We fear what we can't see. We fear that we will be stretched in a way that hurts or worse, exposes us.

Take the story of Peter when walking on the water. Peter sees Jesus and decides to risk and walk on the water. It is going well, then Peter takes his eyes of Jesus, looks down and begins to sink. It would be easy to say the Peter lost faith in Jesus, but the reality is, Peter had no reason to lose faith in Jesus. Jesus was physically present. He did not have to believe there was a man named Jesus, for Jesus was right there. What happened to Peter is what happens to all of us. We lose faith in in how Christ can work in us. We sink because we forget who we are. We sink because the risk seems too heavy. We get caught up in the bizarre notion that no one will notice our absence. We get caught up in the idea that we are ugly, or stupid, or not good enough for people. We sink into a stream of invisibility because there we hope no one will notice the things we hate about ourselves. It doesn't have to be like that.

What I take away from this season is this: We celebrate the birth of a Savior that points us to a life of freedom. Freedom to love. Freedom to risk. Freedom to fail. Freedom to recover. Freedom to experience joy. We celebrate a Savior that shows us how to live, and to live well. We celebrate the birth of a Savior that believes in us as an individual and collective. Believes you can walk on water. Believes you can challenge the evils of this world. Believes that you can love well and be loved back.

We celebrate the Birth of a Savior that wants you, because this Savior knows all you can be and will push you to be that person. You are going to be missed, you are needed in our world, you do matter. This season is a reminder. There would be no way the birth of Christ would matter if God did not find worth in all of mankind.

My prayer is that we all know our worth, and that we show others just how worth it they are.

Merry Christmas Eve! I am grateful for a Savior that is leading us this year to challenge the evil that exists simply by being who we are.

In my next post, I am going to express a lot of my weaknesses. I get this feeling of frustration with who you are.

My thoughts on Phil Robertson, Sex Trafficking and Free Market Capitalism

Phil Robertson was recently suspended for sharing his beliefs in an upcoming issue of GQ. The comments were interesting and can be found here:  http://www.gq.com/entertainment/television/201401/duck-dynasty-phil-robertson

I will be honest. The interview is meant to highlight his system of belief. I think it could have been done better, but heck, I sometimes don't say things well.

I am shocked not by what happened to Phil, but the response. Countless numbers of christians are posting support Phil MeMes, creating blogs and articles to sync their beliefs to his, engaging in shouting matches about this topic.

The uproar of support however is unnecessary from people who support Free Market Capitalism. This is how the market works. A company does not care about your version of integrity UNLESS it brings them money. People who hate those who mock Free Market Capitalism, in the end hating Free Market Capitalism. Money speaks, and this hurts their business. A & E is a business. They don't care about any of those beliefs. If those beliefs were profitable, guess what, just like nearly all companies, they would practice them. However, Free Market Capitalism doesn't have a set of beliefs besides money decides. Not to mention, integrity doesn't bring in the money we think it does. All of those feel good movies that we see are a great example. Those movies fail every time in the box office. They are never huge successes. Listen to any interview about them, they don't last. So why bother if people don't care.

Which leads me back to Phil. Phil is a reality TV star who works in the free market. He made comments, and now he has to pay for it.

What is ironic to me, how can we support an upper class, super wealthy, reality TV star, need I also add white man, cause a MASSIVE uproar about what he says, get thousands of people to dress in camo, create countless numbers of groups on facebook, spout endless amounts of hate towards people while on every single day domestic violence against women in america is on the climb; While sex trafficking of minors is running a lot deeper than we thought (higher than 5,000,000 minors [unicef]).

Where are their photos? Where are the support groups for the 9 and 10 year old girls being raped by some slob in Kolkata? Where are the hashtags in support of the mother who is trying to protect her children from some abusive man holding them at gunpoint? Where is their support? We waste our time and energy defending who? Where is the hashtag for the innocent black man on death row?

If you can honestly tell me to my face that some white, wealthy, christian, reality tv man needs me to support him, I pray you have a vomit bag ready. That is so lopsided. That is counter biblical. You are showing favoritism, you are showing defense for a public figure who literally can pay for lawyers to defend him.

Phil doesn't need my support. If you think for one minute that he is having his rights trampled by A & E you are dead wrong. A & E is going solely after money. Money talks in Free Market Capitalism. What Phil did sadly hurts their business, so they tried to reconcile that by suspending JUST Phil. Phil can freely speak to any forum. His speech will be heard. However, just like when I was a child, I could say whatever I wanted to my parents, however, there are consequences to what I said. I never feared saying things, I just began to say things that were wise or accurate. I believe logically, Phil is the in the same boat.

Please, I am begging you. The orphans and widows of our world need your defense. They need you posting pictures of their faces. They need the masses to have their back. They need you to drive Free Market Capitalism away from them, because being enslaved to make us happy is not healthy.

I refuse to hashtag my support for Phil Roberstson in this cause unless he is truly being oppressed. I will however support the cause of International Justice Mission, or Sisters of charity, or Tubmen, or Community Violence Intervention Centers....

Please, I am begging you, if you place your faith in Christ, defend the cause of orphans, widows and the oppressed with the same energy as you do Phil Robertson.

The perspective of a single millenial on Marriage

One of the articles being passed around right now is the article "Marriage isn't for you." Essentially the article points that Marriage isn't for you if you are in it for yourself. Obviously it is more detailed, but however it still hits the point of the article.

Christians wasted no time responding to the article. Most of them mainly criticized the posts claims that marriage is about the other person. The common consensus is that they believe that marriage is about "Jesus" as the center.... They kept saying that marriage isn't about you or her, but about Christ... I wish I could add more to the articles, but sadly that is what was just repeated over and over again.... with a couple verses. The weird part is, the article they are arguing against as not biblical, actually is more biblical than they led us to believe. I mean, there are a lot of verses that say to put others before yourself. However, it was not said the way christians often like, thus responses ensued. Some of it was even bitter and rude.

The truth is, I don't know what it means when people say Marriage isn't about you it is about Jesus. All of these blogs failed to bring in some sort of picture of what it fully means. It makes me feel like marriage isn't for anyone. Don't get me wrong, I believe a relationship founded in the Gospel means something. However, I don't think it means what these articles presented. I can say marriage is for the other person, or that Marriage is about Jesus all I want, but to be honest, I think both sides present a very shallow argument. I don't get this talk about "Marriage is about Jesus" because there is nothing practical, applicable or anything else to just grab onto. I find it to just fall in the area of "Super Christian-y sayings."

I am a single male. I am not walking around looking to get married, but I would enjoy getting married one day. These articles however give me a complex. They point to this idea that marriage has to be perfect, or that one party has to be miserable, or that both of you have to work towards this idea that has no depth, or marriage is about some concept we will never be able to reach. This gives me anxiety, it makes me not want to even look for a companion.

So to all my single friends who read these articles and have romantic feelings after.... Stop. We deserve better, this article I know is not the answer to that picture of what is better. I don't believe these articles tell the truth though. They share this romantic idea about what white suburban middle class marriage is like. But, I could talk until I am blue in the face about what I don't like, so instead, I am going to make three (ish) points to us singles that have been helping me process through this area of my life.

1) Marry your friend- I can't imagine marrying someone and then discovering who they are after the novelty of the wedding fades. I have plenty of friends my age, whom are good friends, who are now divorced because they spent so much time in the honeymoon phase of a getting to know someone (flirty feelings), that when push came to shove, they never really knew the person they were marrying.... I am not saying you have to know everything about the person you are going to marry, but I am confident that you will not find someone who wants to be with you more than a friend who has dealt with your good and bad already. We often don't realize how good our friends are for us because we are too preoccupied trying to find the feet sweeper off'er that we don't realize that the best person for us is right next to us to begin with. The problem is, we crave security and safety but find that to be boring because we have a misguided understanding of safety and security. We think it lacks this adventure when in reality is challenges us to be adventurers. This is often why we don't choose our friends, we are afraid of allowing it to happen, thus making us run into the arms of people who flatter us. Flattery ends, true friendships don't. Being with someone who is already fighting for you as a friend will make a great companion. Ask any counselor or psychologist; we work well with people who fight for and have faith in us. That is what friends do. (PS I don't think there is a time period for this friendship, it can be a month or 15 years)

2) Don't rush- We have an entire life to discover who we go with well. Too often we become impatient, and spend our entire life trying to discover who it is we are going to marry. The worst part is, we miss out on life. We miss out on experiences. We miss out on the adventure. We lose sight of who we are. It is tragic because we so often believe there is something wrong with us because we aren't married at the age of 24. We somehow have been led to believe that we have something wrong with us if we aren't married yet. Trust me, rushing it is a bad thing. I can't tell you how many relationships end because they just went fast and missed learning how to be friends and how to set the relationship up for success. You have nothing to lose by moving at a pace that sets a relationship up for success. And by setting up I mean learning who is this person and how you can care about them. It does not mean doing what society expects of you, it means focusing on learning about each other. You have time. Don't rush. Enjoy your time.

3) Relationships are about each other- You deserve to be loved. We all do. Don't waste your time with non-reciprocal relationships. You will not fix it. With that being said, it is ok to care about yourself. It is not wrong to love yourself. That is a healthy thing. If you hate yourself, how can you even say you love someone else. You will become wrapped up in them to the point where everything about who you are is tied up in their being. That is unhealthy. I firmly believe that when Jesus says "Love the Lord with all your heart and Love your neighbor as yourself..." are the two most important commandments, Jesus is actually giving three. Jesus knew that it would be impossible for you to Love the Lord and Love your neighbor if you hated yourself. Jesus knew that if you resent everything about yourself, you would be in no position to love that which was involved in your creation and that which was your neighbor. Which leads me to my main point. You deserve to be with someone who is willing to reciprocate that love, willing to sacrifice, willing to be with you through the rough times and the remarkable times and all the moments between the two. Having someone who supports your dreams and helps lay the foundation with you, as you reciprocate that to them, is showing that you are both following what the Lord created in you. In that way, I fully believe that the relationship then is about Jesus and how He leads us. He knows our passions, and following that seems to me to be the only way I could make the relationship about Christ; by being who God created us to be and responding to the world the way Jesus would, together. Making it about the other is how a relationship grows.

3.5) I am not traditional. When I say relationships are about each other, I mean they are about the fact that the person you are with should be your equal, not your servant. I am not traditional. I won't expect any woman to be anything less than what she is and can be. I am fine if a woman asks a guy out on a date. I am fine if the woman makes more money than the male. I am fine if the woman takes leadership. Because if I am being honest, I sometimes don't think or know how to do some of these things. I find a woman who will allow me to compliment her weaknesses as she compliments mine, with strengths, to be a very humbling need in my life, and I assume others.

Secret side extra point- Spend time casting a vision for your life, and move towards it as an individual. Don't be afraid of what  you are passionate about. I always tell people when I meet with them that the best way to meet someone is when you as an individual and they as an individual are moving forward and experiencing life. When you start running towards your passions, and they start running towards theirs, and  you meet, I am convinced you will gain a far better appreciation for them because they have a foundation and you have a foundation, thus leaving you incapable of resenting a person because they held you back from your passions. If you are both finding satisfaction in where you are passionate, gaining a companion can only make that better and often sustainable. (PS I am not saying you have to have the same passions.)

I am not an expert, I could be way off, I have no clue if I am being too optimistic or too shallow. I have so much to learn. But what I do know is that when the time comes, I pray that I am lucky enough to be in a relationship that allows us to learn, sacrifice, compliment, and grow together in this adventure we call life.

The blogs I am talking about:

Aritcle 1-http://sethadamsmith.com/2013/11/02/marriage-isnt-for-you/ The rest are responses to this article:

Article 2- http://theeverlastingfallout.com/marriage-isnt-for-you-its-for-jesus/

Article 3- http://triathletewithacollar.wordpress.com/2013/11/03/a-response-to-marriage-isnt-for-you/

Article 4- http://lucybascom.wordpress.com/2013/11/07/my-response-to-marriage-isnt-for-you/

Why I am moving toward non-violence Part 3 (Final)

I fail at being non-violent. I often still want to respond with violence. It takes all of my energy not to want to beat the living tar out of someone who I witness being a bully or involve themselves in any sort of injustice. Oppression makes me sick.

I fail at this. You see, I often want to use violence as a defense. I want to defend people who are being attacked. We almost hollywoodize violence. Some of us think "If I just kick the crap out of this person, I can show this person how much they suck." We believe that getting even in a violent way is capable of justification. No.

This is a huge lie. In fact it was a lie Jesus even confronted in the Garden when Peter cut the ear off of the Roman Soldier. I mean, when Jesus says "No more of this" in response to the ear chopping, one can clearly conclude Jesus is not about violence. This leaves us with the question of why. Why is Jesus not pro-violence. I mean, it would be super easy for me to walk into a brothel, kill everyone of those persons involved, and walk out with those girls. In fact, it is something I often think about. And I know exactly where this comes from.

This comes from the Jesus I have created in my mind. I know Jesus cares about the bullied, the oppressed, the trafficked, the sick injustice that is hidden in the dark. I know Jesus wants me to take on the case of the widow and the orphans; for some reason though I believe the best way to do this is to create this war path that shows how right I am and how wrong the oppressors are. I seem to have a very shallow view of scripture.

If you believe today that the Bible is inerrant, that this Holy Text is from God, then you can not, under any circumstances believe that parts of it are applicable and parts of it are not. You can't take the parts you enjoy, because this turns Jesus into our image rather than us into God's. When we do that, everything becomes permissible. This is how christian's justified the crusades, justified the intense corruption of the early church, and currently we justify our inaction. We justify our inaction against oppression in our world. We justify this by saying, it is not our calling. We allow for violence to continue because we don't want those difficult parts of the Bible to mean what they actually mean.

We become sadly a culture focused on managing our sin rather than a culture focused on recognizing that we are free (Galatians 5:1) and a person who is capable of changing the world! It is like a Pastor once told me "if you want to encounter Jesus, you can't do so through studying Christ, you have to believe what was taught and go where Jesus would be, with the hungry, the naked, the sick, the thirsty, the imprisoned." It is remarkable to me, that non of the way Jesus calls us to minister to the world involves a weapon or a fist. In fact, nearly every story of Jesus working with the poor and sick involved compassion, not Jesus attacking someone to make it right.

Oddly enough, as if I don't respond in an unhealthy way as it is, God calls us to love our enemies. How am I suppose to tell the oppressors of this world that God loves them? That God still finds worth and value in them even though I think they are slobs.... I find it beyond reprehensible that a man could rape a child, even worse that we allow this to happen, but that a man could do that is beyond repugnant. In my mind that man deserves to be put to death. Some how, God thinks different. God is not justifying their actions, but God still sees redeemable qualities in those persons. Even as I write this, I am screaming inside.

I realize why this is true. Those people all have stories. God is not asking us to not to provide consequences for the actions, but God is asking us to learn to forgive, come along side the victims and the oppressors to create an order of peace, one that points to forgiveness and hope. God does not find these actions right, but as it says in Romans "Everything is permissible but not beneficial."

So, about those stories. We don't often hear the oppressors stories, what drove them to this point. The reason why, because no one wants to see why a person got to this point. I mean, have you heard some of these people talk about why they are the way they are? Life is this vicious cycle of oppression and violence. I mean, I was listening as a prostitute was explaining why she was in the business because her uncle use to rape her and threaten to kill her if she told anyone. She later finds out that he was beaten as a child and raped by his uncle. Violence creates this vicious cycle and sadly has lasting affects; but our oppressors are often victims. They are victims of a tragic fallen and broken world that is in constant need of Hope, sadly we just place it in everything else but that which is enduring and never ending; Christ.

Our oppressors have stories, tragic stories in many cases that cause them to live like this. God sees that, and God did not just die on the cross for the BMW driving christian who tries hard to manage their own sin. Christ died for our oppressors, and knows their stories aren't over even though their actions are deplorable in the eyes of God.

To bring it back full circle, I don't condone violence, and I can't imagine it will be easy to practice this. I however don't believe I am fully following Christ unless I begin to realize that God is calling me to a life of being a peacemaker. There is no way peace involves violence. Or I at least find it implausible.

I have a lot of work to do. I am SO far from applying this view. It is difficult, but I can't seem to interpret the Bible differently.

Why I am moving toward non-violence Part 2, The Death Penalty

I am slowly moving closer and closer to non-violence as a way of life. Responding to our personal situations in life in a violent manner is not healthy, but oddly acceptable. Think of all the videos on youtube praising kids for beating up their bullies, or praising parents who defend their child's honor by taking revenge, or worse the videos praising the death of a human being. 

This response is not biblical. I listened as a mother was weeping saying, "Even though I know my son's actions were deplorable, I still love him, and want to see redemption." We aren't a very forgiving society though.

There are literally countless verses from Romans alone pointing to a non-violent stance, in all circumstances. How many times did Jesus rebuke the notion of violence? Turn the other cheek? I mean, even when involved in a violent situation, Jesus told Peter to put his sword away after cutting off Malchus's ear, the High Priest's slave, and exclaims "No More of this." (Luke 22) 

The problem is, what to do with the murderers, rapists, terrorist, aggressors, bullies and all those who bring out the violence in us all. 

It is easy to believe that what we need to have happen to them all is to return the favor. An eye for an eye. They murder someone, we murder them back. They rape someone, they get beat. They kill masses, we kill them. Our response is often return the favor. I mean, can we honestly justify putting someone to death? Especially if there is a chance of innocence and or redemption? I mean, if we are realistic, 18 people have been exonerated in the US because evidence proved them innocent. (I know, I can go on and on and on about how I am against the death penalty, but that is a separate post)

Don't get me wrong, what I am about to say may seem like I am for inaction thus leaving you to conclude I condone evil. In fact the opposite is true. While there are many verses that lead us to stances of non-violence, there are more verses that demand our exhaustive action against evil; to be prepared to fight against injustice. I just happen to interpret scripture to point out that our action requires us to be non-violently just. 

With that being said, I need to make it clear that I am against war, the death penalty, weapons that can only bring destruction, beating the crap out of someone and genocide. Oppressing our oppressors teach them nothing though. I mean, we are literally teaching our youth with the death penalty that if someone murders another person, we have the right to murder them back. These are christian leaders telling people this is ok, and in some circumstances "God's will!" What a tragedy. What is worse is that we cut short the redemptive story of God in their life. Do we not believe when Peter exclaims that "God is not willing that anyone of us shall perish...." ?

Now, I know many of you may ask what to do about Osama Bin Laden or Hitler. It is difficult for me to celebrate the death of any human, but our action sometimes requires us to do things that aren't the right thing, but sometimes the best thing. For example, Dietrich Bonhoeffer knew that killing Hitler was the best option before him, but knowing full well there was no Good option at all. He knew that the greater problem was the genocide happening right before him. I regretfully would agree with Bonhoeffer. 

When I talk about non-violence, these areas are often the focus. We are so focused on righting wrongs in this world that we will do so at any temporary cost. What we don't want to ask is, why are the wicked doing what is wicked? Why are they the way they are? 

Listen, there is a deep, dark, oppressive evil in this world. No one is denying that. It hides a lot: 30,000,000 slaves, 5,000,000 child prostitutes, domestic abuse, mass shootings, drug dealing, bullying genocides and so much more. The problem is, we know that this is happening, but we are quicker to anger than action. And often our anger leads us to want violent responses. Those responses are unhealthy and are driven by appropriate emotions but often to false actions. These assume we have the total picture. Listen, if there is one thing I am sure of, we give the evil in our world too much power. I am confident that in the following verses from Job, after many arguments thus far with God, Job asks great questions to which the answers are powerful.

I am safe ending with these sets of verses (PS, I don't think this imagery leads to violence, I think it leads us to recognize that evil and wickedness are powerless.):

Job 24 (NLT)

Job Asks Why the Wicked Are Not Punished

24 “Why doesn’t the Almighty bring the wicked to judgment?
    Why must the godly wait for him in vain?
2 Evil people steal land by moving the boundary markers.
    They steal livestock and put them in their own pastures.
3 They take the orphan’s donkey
    and demand the widow’s ox as security for a loan.
4 The poor are pushed off the path;
    the needy must hide together for safety.
5 Like wild donkeys in the wilderness,
    the poor must spend all their time looking for food,
    searching even in the desert for food for their children.
6 They harvest a field they do not own,
    and they glean in the vineyards of the wicked.
7 All night they lie naked in the cold,
    without clothing or covering.
8 They are soaked by mountain showers,
    and they huddle against the rocks for want of a home.

9 “The wicked snatch a widow’s child from her breast,
    taking the baby as security for a loan.
10 The poor must go about naked, without any clothing.
    They harvest food for others while they themselves are starving.
11 They press out olive oil without being allowed to taste it,
    and they tread in the winepress as they suffer from thirst.
12 The groans of the dying rise from the city,
    and the wounded cry for help,
    yet God ignores their moaning.

13 “Wicked people rebel against the light.
    They refuse to acknowledge its ways
    or stay in its paths.
14 The murderer rises in the early dawn
    to kill the poor and needy;
    at night he is a thief.
15 The adulterer waits for the twilight,
    saying, ‘No one will see me then.’
    He hides his face so no one will know him.
16 Thieves break into houses at night
    and sleep in the daytime.
    They are not acquainted with the light.
17 The black night is their morning.
    They ally themselves with the terrors of the darkness.

18 “But they disappear like foam down a river.
    Everything they own is cursed,
    and they are afraid to enter their own vineyards.
19 The grave[a] consumes sinners
    just as drought and heat consume snow.
20 Their own mothers will forget them.
    Maggots will find them sweet to eat.
No one will remember them.
    Wicked people are broken like a tree in the storm.
21 They cheat the woman who has no son to help her.
    They refuse to help the needy widow.

22 “God, in his power, drags away the rich.
    They may rise high, but they have no assurance of life.
23 They may be allowed to live in security,
    but God is always watching them.
24 And though they are great now,
    in a moment they will be gone like all others,
    cut off like heads of grain.
25 Can anyone claim otherwise?
    Who can prove me wrong?”

Now, I know I was going to praise the military and police officers in the part, however, I elect to spend a portion of my part 3 on this. Hopefully it will also close some of the holes I am still leaving in my points.

Why I am moving towards Non-Violence Part 1

I appreciate the comments on the last post! I look forward to interacting more as this blog grows. I love all the friends who encouraged me on the last post! You all are awesome!

This weeks post is on Non-Violence. It is a movement I am exploring. This is one of the most difficult explorations I feel I have been on.

I was listening to another youth pastor share this story of his first experience meeting a minor who had been trafficked through the sex trade. He had said to me, "When you look into the eyes of this 13 year old girl, all you want to do is drastically murder every single person that has wronged her, even once. Not just simply kill them, but show the entire world what you think of these slobs who mess with these girls."

He is not alone. As I partner with organizations that fight and defend the rights of those who are robbed of their basic humanness, I notice full well the rage inside of my that demands I go out, kick down the brothel doors and rescue these girls. My response is almost always in relation to retaliation and retribution for the wrong doings of others. I have spent most of my life claiming I know God on one hand, and giving permission to violent responses on the other hand. I can't think of a time in the Bible where Jesus, our image of God, calls for responding with violence. This is disconcerting, considering most of the time, as Americans, our response is typically with physical domination.

For me, it is an identity problem. I feel violent when someone attacks me (even if it is my family or friends.) I feel the best way to get back at them is to respond in a negative and unhealthy way that shows how dominate I am, and how unaltered my life is by their comments.

I was listening as an older student was telling me about being bullied. They showed me a scar on their arm from being shoved by this bully. They told me what it was like to be shoved into a locker every day, to sit by themselves everyday, to be called names that were not even remotely true. This student, who is beyond brave, shared with me that they could endure all the physical "crap" if they would just leave their "family alone." I was caught off guard for a second. I thought they would say them self. They so gently, and without hesitation, responded by saying "I can deal with the comments about me, I know they aren't true, they still hurt, but I can't deal with how they talk about my family, or in particular, my brother." This person went on to explain why they felt sick to their stomach the moment they found out who their brother is. They said, "It took all of my energy not to want to clock these people in the face. Just because he was gay." I asked, why didn't you clock them, to which her reply was the best "Because I wouldn't want to end there. I would want retribution. And to be honest with you, most of the people who were bullying me had worse lives than I did. So, I move on, it took away their power." This is coming from the mouth of a person who was 16 at the time.

The whole time I am in this conversation all I think about is "Man, I would LOVE to just clock those people." We so easily fall into this trap that the best way to respond is to clock this person. I fall into the trap that the best way to rescue the minors who are trapped in a brothel would be to kill their pimps and captors. I mean, how many of you have that feeling, how many of you act on this feeling?

But is this healthy? It makes me actually call to question my faith. Did Christ ever respond in the gospels with violence? I mean, when Christ met with the outcasts, listened to the stories of being bullied, did Christ honestly ask them if they were going to "clock" those people? No. God knows where violence comes from. It comes from our pride, our desire to be number one, our need for domination. Violence coerces people into submission to our will and desires. It does no good. Responding with violence kills our case for Christ, it hinders our testimony. I believe that God so loved all the people of the world, which if that is true, then we must believe that those we wish to be violent against, God loves. God loves those pimps, those rapists, those people whom we hate, the bullies and people who simply grind our gears. If God loves them, and we love God, then logically should we love them too? Shouldn't we want redemption for them as well? If so, then why respond with violence? Why do I want to clock those bullies? Why do I want to murder those pimps?

I think, for some reason, that this swift justice will bring closure. Sadly, the opposite is true, and teaches others that it is okay to take revenge. Don't get me wrong, there must be consequences for our actions, for what these pimps and rapists do. There must be justice for the bullied. But justice can't be done violently, otherwise it dirties the Cross of Christ we are attempting to testify to.

In part 2 I will point out how I find Biblical Justice does not include the Death Penalty, Guns or other responses that involve tragic weapons, while praising the good cops and military folks of our nation.

In part 3 I will share how I am trying and attempting to respond to our world with hopes that it is non-violent. I will also share how terrible I am at this.

My beef with Prayer

Please, do not take offense to what I say. I am simply stating why prayer is difficult for me. It is a large struggle. It is a weakness to me. It leaves me with more questions.

Why do we pray? I have always been taught that prayer is a conversation between you and God. It is not a public display or show. I understand prayer for understanding and direction. I get prayer conversing over decisions. I get why people pray for family and friends who have fallen ill. But there are a lot of requests I don't get.

Every week I read prayer requests from church, from groups in the community, from non-profits, from family, from friends and small groups; and every week, I am shocked with how many of these prayer requests are already answered. I am shocked that people have the nerve to ask God for blessings or resources to which God has already provided. I know, this is very shallow of me. This is a weakness of mine.

But, I just can't get over why a person who is wealthy would pray for the poor to have the resources they need to survive. I just can't get that.

I think of it like this. If my friend comes to me as I am eating a meal, and exclaims that they do not have the resources to eat, would my response be to pray for them? Would I pray to God about how to help them? I can only hope not.

A favorite professor was sharing a story about a time he was asked to speak at a church. While he was ending, they were taking time for prayer requests, one of the prayer requests was about the need for $3,000 for an orphanage to fix their vehicle and other mechanical problems surrounding the building. This professor stopped the person who was sharing and asked why would you pray for that which God has already provided. He then said, "Open up your wallets, take out whatever money you have and put it up here on the alter, if we don't raise the money, I will write a check for the rest." He started then pointed to everyone in the audience to come up front, drop their cash on the alter. People were pulling out crisp $100 and leaving very angry looks.

Why would I take time to pray for that which God has already provided? I don't get it.

I think of it like this as well too. Why would I waste time praying that God would end the violence in our world, and that human trafficking would become non-existent in our world when God has clearly, and I mean if you call yourself a Christian clearly, called us to end it in our world? I am not going to pray that God does Her part when we clearly don't care about doing ours.

Why would I pray that God would end poverty in our world, when God has already provided the means for us to do so?

Why would I pray that God would end world hunger, when God has already provided the means for us to do so?

Why would I pray that God would end the cycle of oppression, when God has already shown us the way?

Why would I pray that God would end the Government welfare programs, when God has been calling the CHURCH to take care of these people since the beginning?

Why would I pray that God would stop children from dying from preventable diseases, when we know full well that we can end this but just recognizing this....

I don't get it. I don't get how one who says they earnestly believe in God can genuinely pray for these things when they already have the means and path to do so.... Maybe I am just shallow and weak, which is VERY common, but I can't grasp why this is happening.

Why would I pray to God about whether or not I should do the right thing? Why? If you Love God, then you Love your neighbor. Your inactivity as you wait for what God has provided is best reflected by the infamous Irish Statesman Edmund Burke "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for Good men to do nothing."

My beef with prayer is that we turn it around to God as a wish list of things we want Him to do, when in reality, most of which we pray for has already been answered, but we are unwilling to see it because we know it will make us work harder, it will make us sacrifice, it will make us change.

This is the reflection on my sadly shallow view.

Why We Stay

It is 8:30 on a Thursday night, I am listening as a close friend of my is on the other side of the phone, in tears, wondering what they did wrong, how he could have done better, maybe if he looked better, or were more romantic or had more money, she wouldn't have left him. He stayed chasing her, begging to be taken back. He kept asking how he could fix himself to meet her needs. He called that love. But how could I blame him?

It is 6:30 on a Saturday morning, I am grabbing coffee with two friends as one begins to break down letting us know her then boyfriend is beating her. She told us all the same lines "It was probably my fault" and "He loves me, and doesn't want to do this" and "If I just become better looking and listen" at which we had stopped her from talking. Shocked that she could believe such lies. But how could I blame her?

It is 1:38 on a Tuesday afternoon, I am getting ready to fly home. I receive a text saying he can't stand being like this anymore. A pal of mine hated his job, hated his living situation, hated what he was getting into and personally hated himself. However, nothing is being done about this. He can't see any opportunity past his circumstances. But how could I blame him?

Why is this?

Because not one of us, and I mean zero persons, likes to leave what they know. We all fear beyond our situation. This fear immobilizes us. It makes us stuck. The idea of my friend leaving his girlfriend seems like a harsh concept. He would rather stay, change everything about himself than to be left alone.

If my dear friend would have just left him.

If my friend would just take a chance....

But they can't. They can't because it is difficult to invite someone beyond what they

So, we stay. We always stay. It is easier. We don't want to. We know the abuse is wrong, the neglect is draining and the lack of creativity is numbing, but we seem to want to stay. We assume the worst will happen to us, rather than realizing we can actually have what is better for us. We can have the girlfriend that cares about us, or the boyfriend who holds us, or the job that ignites a passion inside of us. But that requires us to move forward. We hate that. We fear it.

I mean, I literally have a friend who lives with her ex-husband because she is fearful of life without him. She would rather stay, endure the crap, than move on. Many of us would look at her with severe judgement, would push her to "let go" and "move on" with her life and her daughters. But how can she? What can she do? Are you going to take her in? We offer simple solutions, with very unrealistic applicable actions.

We stay mainly because we don't know what to do.

I remember listening to a lady share her story about finally ending her relationship with her then husband. She kept saying how for over 15 years she went back to him, kids and all, because even though she would be choke slammed or held at gunpoint, she at least felt welcomed to that. She felt secure in knowing what each day was going to be like; abusive, painful and draining. She said, the moment she felt the most free was the moment when someone said, "It doesn't have to be like this" and then proceeded to never give up on her for 8 years. She had lied to the cops about the abuse, lied to the friend, ignored her children until her oldest son was 15. She watch her husband humiliate their son. She did nothing. A few days later, called the friend, to which the friend simply said "I am going to stop you right there, because I could never imagine your pain, but I know deep down in your being you know this is not how you want your life to end. I don't know the end, but I surely know it doesn't have to be like this." Her friend stayed with her the whole time, not judging her because she took fifteen years to leave, not judging her for her willingness to stay, but simply offering a way out, a few phone calls to the police and her presence.

To many, fifteen years is too many. But how many of us can relate to these stories? How many of us stick it out in something we shouldn't? How many of us stay until it is unhealthy? I would argue, nearly all, if not all, of us have.

I don't think this problem is because we don't know there are other options, it is that we are so disconnected we are incapable of seeing beyond what is around us. We are absorbed by our circumstances. We become scared of Hope.

I can't offer you a way out. I can't offer you an adventure. I can't save you from this. My prayer is that you see there is a way out, you can have adventure, & what we find in Christ gives us a saving freedom. You have to discover this.

I don't know how you all operate, but I know for me, persistent presence, vulnerability, honesty, with-holding judgement and being open, reaches me. It helps me see beyond my circumstances. It helps me realize, I don't have to stay here, even if I am scared beyond belief for what could be next. I thank those people for that!

I want you to leave your unhealthy relationship, I want you to leave your unhealthy job, I want you to have good things. But my wants aren't enough. Your wants aren't enough. You have to discover that life is more free than you realize. That you don't have to abide by the normal rules socially constructed to hold you down. That you don't have to marry a model or a project, you can actually marry an adventurer, different from the rules we find.

But none if this will make sense if you are not confident in who you are. If you are not confident what your value is. If you are not confident you have purpose. If you allow others to determine all of this. Because of this, we stay. We sell ourselves short, even if it is a lie. That fear keeps us there. Welp, fear is a liar.

You don't need me to tell you that, you can discover that. Inside you is a well, what you fill that well with is your life, the nice thing is, at any point, you can fill that well with the life you need and deserve. Don't stay in the destructive aspects of your life. And if you do, be open to the people who can help you move. I get why you stay, but know, just know, "it doesn't have to be like this"

My thoughts on National Suicide Prevention Day

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. This day brings many memories to us. In some ways it recalls tragic moments in our lives. It recalls times when loved ones were physically present with us. This day is rough for many people out there. For many families. For many communities.

Today is a day where we recognize one of the largest tragedies in our communities. I recall these tragedies as a person who meets with students every week, I see this topic every now and then. Even recently.

[I asked permission from this student before I shared this] I was meeting with a student many odd weeks ago. As I was talking with him over the phone, I kept listening to him say, "I am useless and no one would know I was gone anyway. Why does it matter. Why do you even care, no one else does...." As he kept going on, He starts to break down, and just keeps saying, "man I am pathetic, I need help, I hate dealing with this on my own, I just need help, I need someone to help me. I just can't seem to ask for help." That admission was more brave than he thinks. He use to tie weakness to help.

Asking for help is an act of bravery. In a world where appearing weak is frowned open, I praise those who ask for help. 

However, this day is not about the person who is attempting to end their life. This day is about the people who are willing to intervene. This day is a call for all humans to recognize that they are needed in the fight for humanity.

It would be easy for me to offer you a simple set of philosophical arguments pointing to the importance of your involvement. Sadly, they will just remain philosophical for many. They often do for me. 

Today is a call for all of us to be active participants in our communities. But what can this look like?

The best illustration I can offer is from the story of Lord of the Rings. 

Sam: Do you remember the Shire, Mr. Frodo? It'll be spring soon. And the orchards will be in blossom. And the birds will be nesting in the hazel thicket. And they'll be sowing the summer barley in the lower fields... and eating the first of the strawberries with cream. Do you remember the taste of strawberries?

Frodo: No, Sam. I can't recall the taste of food... Nor the sound of water or touch of grass... I'm naked in the dark, with nothing. No veil between me and the ring of fire. I can see him with my waking eyes!

Sam: Then let us be rid of it! Once and for all! Come on Mr. Frodo. I can't carry it for you! But I can carry you! Come on!
[He picks Frodo up and starts carrying him up the slopes of Mount Doom]

Man, I tear up every time I think about this scene. This is how humanity is suppose to be. This was our intent. When our neighbor falls, we are suppose to look at them and say "I can't carry it for you! But I can carry you! Come on!"

This is what this day is about. A person getting ready to take their life is burdened beyond what we could ever understand. We can't carry that burden for them, but in times when they feel the weakest, we can surely carry them. We can participate in their life to the point where their burdens become less heavy simply because we are particiapting actively in their life. This is very hard to practice, because it calls for us to be vulnerable. However, it is necessary.

I want to share a few things that I try to practice.

1) Never assume they are mentally ill. One of the largest problems I have seen and heard is when people say "Is this because they are depressed?" or "What mental illness do they have?" Actually the best advice.Don't assume anything about them. It may not be bullying or family life or illness or pressure. Get to know people, and they will give you permission to see more about who they are and what they often hide from others.

2) Appreciate the Gray. Life is not black and white. No matter how much you want it to be, it just simply isnt. There tends to be a lot more gray in life than we like. Everything is not as simple as it seems, no matter how the media or near by gossipers assume.

3) Accepting your own beauty. It sounds weird. But one thing I always tell people is, you will never be capable of fully accepting someone else unless you fully accept who you are. Accepting who you are is not meaning you are perfect, it means you are willing to move forward from who you are to who you can be. You accept everything about you. I promise you though, you will never fully love someone until you start loving who you are, otherwise your insecurites will block your ability to love, you begin to doubt yourself, you begin to withdrawl from the world, you begin to hide who you are and can be. Accepting yourself is one of the first steps to loving others. Even in the context of Bible, the God I know, knows it is impossible for you to love someone unless you love yourself. How can you let someone in if you hate yourself? You are a live, which means you have value and purpose and meaning and are fully loveable. You are worth it. This is hard, but I promise you are more free when you accept yourself. Not to mention, you become use to the idea that you actually can be loved. That someone can actually love you. Then you start to let people into your life.

4) Value comes from many avenues. I was listening to a psychologist from seattle's School for Theology and Psychology talk about the most dangerous thing about telling your daughter she is Beautiful and your son that he is strong. He talked about how most of us tell our daughters they are beautiful and that our son is strong. The problem is, we often only tell them they are beautiful or strong. So when we do that, we tie their value to their beauty or strength. He also talks about how that is the case for everything. We create an avenue to what makes children have worth, then we sell them on their worth being tied to that item. (Sports, school, beauty, musical talent, etc...) The tragedy is, when children are not feeling worthy, they will turn to anything that will give them that worth. How can we as humans point to the personhood as valued? It is not what they do or how they look that make them worthy. I am not advocating ignoring your childs beauty, I am simply stating that we should create many avenues that point to their worth. Their worth is their life, their being. Your worth is the same.

I pray this day never happens again, but until we all begin to dialogue about what is actually the root of this, until we create avenues for people to be brave, until we live in a society where value is holistic in nature, until we begin to realize that humans are valued, not their talents, this day will continue. People are worth it, this day is about those who of us who must intervene, who must create an environment for the brave individuals asking for help to continue to ask.

Always feel safe knowing that you can ask for help. You are worth it, and asking for help is brave. You are not alone, you have an ocean of people whom find value in your personhood.