10 steps to being a godly man and other farces

Relevant magazine posted an article recently titled: "Why don't the guys in my church ask women on dates?" The premise of the article- why aren't men brave enough to cross the friendship line and ask a girl out on a date. The author then starts to deliver points on how our culture of men needs to step up, and stop accepting lies. The author ties in some jokes about Josh Harris "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" and how we need to be brave. On the outside, great article.

However, on the inside, they are absolute garbage. In the matter of 4 hours, I had 3 friends post the article. In the past 24 hours, I had over 10 friends post articles on "becoming a better man" and the gender of all those who posted- women. I get it, men need to be better. I just highly doubt a soundbite of an out of context point, will drastically change the heart of a man. I am personally convinced all of that is done through the Cross of Christ.

That is not the worst article on manhood. Here are my top 5 favorite titles:

10 Steps to becoming a man
19 little things that will make you a better man
10 no excuse ways to become a better man
25 ways to become a better man even if you can't be a perfect one
AND my number one:
75 ways to become a better man-GoodGuySwag

These articles provide the tangible formula for all men across the board to better themselves. On the outside these things sound great. They have solid principals like "ask a girl on a real date" and "be on time" and "floss everyday" and "be generous" and... you get the point. These a practical reminders... That I promise, do not make you a better man. They have NOTHING on Matthew 16:24, which is the premise and foundation of my blog post. "Take up your cross, and follow me."

You want to know why men are passive. It has nothing to do with our culture, or mixed messages on manhood, or the "left" or the "right" hijacking manhood. It has everything to do with just the guy and the bull crap he accepts as truth. There are a million messages in the world and don't get me wrong, men have been the leader of nearly all of our major problems in our world, but it is solely on the individual. They have led in gender inequality, pay differentiation gap, slavery, sex slavery, pornography, rape, genocide, war, and many other things. I am not blaming all men for these things, but individual men believed the message of perverted power. That is on them. I promise you, those articles would have not changed those men, and it would not have changed the men who are fighting against those things. The Cross of Christ changes men.

For the sake of all men, stop giving a one size fits all formula for how men "ought" to act, and start promoting opportunities to step up. I don't care about having a beard, or throwing an axe, or camping with my shirt off, or having muscles the size of mount everest, or hunting. I don't care if people care that I like loafers, or pinterest, or cooking, or fashion, or love stories, or taylor swift, or art, or shopping, or crying, or sitting with my legs crossed, or dancing, or fishing. I will never be that man in those articles, because I am not every man, and those standards are generic and myopic. Sure, I believe the Bible outlines biblical principles for manhood, but it is backed up with why, how, and grace, something these articles are missing. Sure, I have notes on pointers that I take to remind me of a few things. But I keep them secret because they are unique to me. Am I taking up my cross, and following Christ into our world? I don't know the formula for that.

So, you want to know why I don't ask girls out on dates at my church.... Because I am focused on finding who God is calling me to be, where God is leading me, and how I can partner with God in loving this world. My life does not revolve around dating. It doesn't revolve around my job. It doesn't revolve on being the best at something. It revolves on following God. I want to be brave. I want to be someone who brings the love, hope, joy, peace, and goodness of God to the world. I want to see orphans have homes. I want to kick down the doors of brothels and rescue children enslaved. I want to help prisoners who have children to be better parents. I want to provide a sustainable financial future for my family. I want to teach people how to budget. I want to dig full bars of soap out of a toilet at 10:00pm at a shelter. I want to have a home where people feel safe enough to find rest. I want widows to know they are taken care of in our community. I want to rescue people out of abusive situations. I want abusers to find healing. I want to help youth end bullying in schools. I want to see the elderly dancing and being welcomed. I want to be a part of this.

I am not focused on dating, because I am far more focused on what God is calling me to, where God is leading me, and how I can partner with God. My prayer is to not be passive in that. My prayer is not the GoodGuySwags 75 ways to become a better man. My prayer is that I follow God, and if in following God, I see the opportunity take a step in that direction, then I will move towards that, but I refuse to lose sleep over singleness while there is still so much to be done in this world. This is not an argument for being passive, it is an argument for going where God is leading. I know for a fact posting these articles do not prompt men to be better.

You want to be the person God is calling you to be, live life with others, and be mentored. I live with three other guys. We are all different. Can you imagine if we were all the same? How terrible would that be. The way we fight and care for each other is unique. If all my roommates and I acted the same, we couldn't come close to accomplishing what God wants for our community, especially if we were denying how God created us. We all play a role in shaping our community, the last thing we need is 4 of me running around, it would be one big mediocre event! I am thankful for community. I am thankful for people who have pointed me to Christ. I am thankful that there are some people, including women, that push me to be a better man, but all of this comes from following God. Which I contend, is difficult.

Conclusion
Be and Go where God is leading. That is the man our community needs. And if you are concerned about dating, that is fine, but don't waste time with articles that shame you into being less passive. Spend time and energy discovering who you are in our world. Find this through mentoring, community, prayer, volunteering, serving, resting, working, sitting, standing... There is no formula.

NOW, many people may disagree. I welcome it, because I do not know everything, and I do not have all the answers. I am ok with that. I have SO MUCH TO LEARN. I am always willing to grab coffee or lunch and talk more, or invite you serve with me places! I would LOVE that.

Casey's Future

A few months ago, I announced my partnership this year with The Dwelling Place Shelter. In that post, I told you of some other posts I plan on writing. This is one of those posts. I am going to post the letter I have sent out. 

Before you read this letter, know that this was not an unexpected next step, but this transition is what we both knew would be next in my life. The timing went back and forth, and the final date of September 1st was the most logical and best for both sides. 

This transition will be easy from a logistics standpoint, but hard from an emotional standpoint. I will miss my time with you all. I will miss the students, the relationships, the families, the leadership, the events, planning, teaching about Jesus, the lock-ins, the late night conversations, grabbing food, changing plans, big trips, but mainly will miss the day in and day out love of the community I have grown up in and who has grown me as a leader! The nice thing, I am transitioning out at Five Oaks, but I am not going far. I will still be a call/email/instagram away. 

I don't know what is next. There are a few opportunities that I am exploring, but opening myself up to all options. If you hear of an opportunity, I would love to connect.  I will be taking time these next few weeks to travel, interview, and take on a few more painting/remodeling jobs. 

Feel free to connect, ask questions, and pray with me! I am excited for these next steps for Five Oaks and the next steps in my life! 

And now, the letter:

Hello All,

To start, I just want to first say, Thank you all for being an encouragement to my life. Greatly appreciate that.

This is an update to let you all know, before it goes out to our church community, I plan to transition out of my role as Associate Director of Student Ministries, by September first. Please use your discretion when talking about this. This transition has God written all over it. I am beyond blessed to have a church that has supported me, grown with me, worked through my many flaws, constantly had grace with me, all while pointing me to Christ and growing me as a leader.

This transition is very healthy. The conversation about my transition and future was saturated with love, support, openness and trust in where Christ was leading both sides. I had been having several conversations with leadership at Five Oaks for a few months about a timeline to step away. No solid timeline was in place. This transition is not coming as a shock. I had brought to Tyler Sotebeer (Student Ministry Pastor) my desire to decrease my hours to 15 a week by the middle of October. Tyler and I met a few weeks later, he communicated his needs and expectations for going into the year.  After sometime, we both just felt great peace (mixed with sadness) that the Holy Spirit was leading us to this conclusion that I would step away in time to bring in someone who could step in at the start of the ministry year. This is the best step for both Five Oaks and myself.

So, it is with my faith in Christ, knowing that Christ has directed both Five Oaks, and myself, that I confirm that I will be stepping away. It will be an emotionally difficult transition, but my confidence and joy are in Christ. I don't know fully what is next. I don't have another position in place right away. I currently have a small but busy painting/remodeling/consulting business, and work for Delta Airlines. I am praying through this process, exploring options, and open to explore all opportunities. 

If you do not mind, would you pray with me in this journey. More importantly, pray for our students, the ministry, and our church! I wish I could tell all of you in person, and would love to take time to respond so feel free to reach out or ask questions. 

Email: caseyhayden01@gmail.com

Cell:651-470-4967 (text/call)

I leave you all with these verses from Psalm 13:5-6:

5 But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
    my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
6 I will sing to the Lord,
    because he has dealt bountifully with me.

Much Love and thank you all,

Casey Hayden

I promise I was responsible... but yes I need therapy

The most underserved population in the Church PT 1

I want people to know this, before they read this. I am not ridiculing the church for something they aren't doing and something I am doing. I am a massive failure in many ways, I am not succeeding in serving this population/demographic well. One of the most underserved populations in our community are persons who have special needs, disabilities, and mental health concerns and limitations. We have a lack of leadership, programming, inclusion, and openness towards our brothers and sisters who seem different than us. This isn't a guilt trip, mainly because Christ is not about condemnation but about action and redemption. There is grace in our errors, but our freedom that comes from the grace calls us out of sin, into light, and towards the active redemptive work of Christ.

That being noted, I am using this post as a call to action, first for myself, then for my community. You see, before I really comment on this, I need to point out that everything I say, if I don't participate in this change, I am failing.

I don't fully know why. I can say there are aspects that are awkward for me/us. We don't know how to handle spastic movements, or making sounds during a time of silence, or wheel chairs. What do we do when a child has 10th chromosomal deletion, no motor skills, no ability to communicate, and needs constant attention?

What I want to suggest, promote, and communicate is, we don't have all the answers. That is ok, but we can't afford to ignore, reject, or pseudo serve them as if they aren't welcome in our community. I want to lay out three areas, some ways I am praying of jumping in. There are WAY MORE WAYS to tackle this conversation, but have grace on me, because I don't have all the answers. Here we go:

Homelessness, Disability, Mental Health, and Group Homes

The Annual Homeless Assessment Report,' issued by the Department of Housing and Urban Development, says some rough facts: "In particular mental health disabilities, can make it difficult to work enough to afford adequate housing. Adults with disabilities living in poverty comprise 30.7% relative to the population in America that experiences poverty as a whole. The number of persons with disabilities who are homeless is higher than the number of people who are living in poverty"

What is rough is that we are finding more and more persons to be homeless, having no one who would rent to them, having no places to go. Some qualify for Group Homes, a (mostly) safe place for them. Most however, don't; leaving them to make it to a shelter, find aid, find work, and navigate this world alone.

I can't go fully in depth on this problem right now, but homelessness and disabilities often go hand and hand. What is worse, is the stories of these persons. The tragedy is heart breaking. The stories of abuse, neglect, heartache, and destruction, can make you angry and immobile. What they need is for us to be angry and actively pursuing with them healthy solutions. I could focus on all that is wrong, but I want solutions.

What we can do

1) Volunteer our time. Drive them, feed them, clothe them, help them get needs met. I remember talking with a social worker about a person they were trying to connect to certain aid. She was telling me she wished they had people to help educate who she was a case manager for, on how to get the proper aid. Sometimes it is just something as simple as just being there. Giving our time, even if we are sure how it will look. Playing music, games, or helping them eat. Giving our time is the best thing we can do.

2) Include in our families. What if tuesday nights were dinners spent including persons who have a disability? What if a person in a wheel chair who couldn't control their movements was second nature to our youth? What if our youth sat with students from the special needs classrooms at lunch as if they were in our families? What if our youth stood up against bullies who mocked, harmed, or did anything to their friend? What if we stepped in, and said "this neglect and abuse aren't going to happen in my town!" This starts with including them in on our families life. This is the best way to tackle systemic problems.

3) End the oppressive conversation on Mental Health. You aren't weak if you are a person who struggles with anxiety, depression, suicide, any mental health disorder. You aren't weak. You didn't do something wrong. God isn't trying to teach you a lesson. You can't just "have more faith" to get out of this "funk" as some say. This isn't a funk. This isn't a lesson. This is a part of who you are. You deserve community. You are needed. You don't need our one-liners. It is not us and they, it is we. Depression, anxiety, and any mental health disorder isn't who you are, it doesn't mean you are weak. This conversation has to be inclusive. Any of these aren't jokes or to be taken lightly.

Orphans

This is a very ambiguous sub-topic, but it is one area that I find Christ to be very clear about. In America alone we have over 510,000 children who are orphaned, and over 143,000,000 children orphaned around the world. Sick.

Even worse, we can talk about the adoption rate of children who are white vs mixed race vs disability. 

For every healthy white child there are 30 families waiting to adopt.

For every 30 healthy mixed race, or single race other than white child there is 1 family waiting to adopt.

For every 200 special needs children, there is 1 family waiting to adopt. (Various reports, most are higher ratios)

My friend just returned from an orphanage in India, where he broke open a door at the neighboring towns orphanage, and carried out several disabled children. They were locked up because they weren't worth the time of the head master and were seen as demonic. Sadly, laws didn't protect those children. Thankfully they are in an orphanage that can care for them now. This is apparently a common problem all over the developing world. It is only slightly better here in the good ol' USA.

In America, we have a very broken system run by our government. Our government doesn't have an option. We have our foster program. Listening to a student explain what his and his families experience with foster care was heart breaking and saddening. He told a group of us that he was lost in the system. He was in a new school every few months, unsure when he would see his siblings, unsure if he would finish school in the same county. What was tragic was not just his story, but the story of his sister who had a developmental delay and cerebral palsy. He said she faced horrific abuse (with physical wounds), neglect, and worse no siblings. She was sometimes placed in a group home, and sometimes sent to live with the grandmother. She aged out, was placed in a Group Home until her brother came to her aid. They lived together in a studio apartment, he worked locally, enough for rent and food. He finished high school (barely) he isn't exactly sure where all of his siblings are. His sister has massive medical needs, a barely functioning mobility aid, and he has no clue how to even sign up for aid for her. What is worse, his story isn't the only one...

What we can do

1) Open our homes. The roommates and I are opening our town home to students and family who are in need. It has been a blessing for us more than for them I am sure. An area we have always considered and are constantly in prayer about is how to we advance God's Kingdom using what we have. We are praying about fostering, mentoring, housing, and much more. We aren't sure how God is going to work, but we are eager and meeting with people about it.

2) Refer to number one. Honestly, give all the money, food, clothes you want, but opening up our homes is so important. If we are as anti-abortion pro-life as we claim, then we should struggle with the euthanasia of children in third world countries who end the life of what my friend from Kenya once called "non-profitable" orphans just because they happen to be differently abled than you and I. It should disturb us to action.

3) You don't have to do this alone. Your church is your community. We should be raising our families together anyway, so when you bring in a child of God into your house, you shouldn't be doing that alone to begin with. It shouldn't change if you bring another child into your home. The guys in my house will help, they are eager to come along side you. You aren't alone in this.

4) Hold our institutions responsible. We shape education in America. We should always be making education more accessible. We should also be making it more affordable. We should be pressuring our nation to make this a priority. But on a personal level, we should also be holding ourselves responsible. We should be helping educate, we should be helping make it affordable, we should be making education a priority as well.

Check out some things the state of Oklahoma are doing. Their networks are powerful and healthy!

Worship Service Inclusion

This is a hard one. Weekend Worship services are a very personal and intimate experience for many. It is a time to connect, worship through song and sermon, and grow. I am not arguing against the need for this time. I am not saying we shouldn't try to meet the needs of all folks in our community. I am asking that we explore more of this, and how it can be done.

What we can do

1) Create spaces for inclusion. Some of our brothers and sister in Christ can't understand these sermons, but they can experience the redemption of Christ through community. I remember holding a student who had special needs; couldn't communicate, minimal motor skills, and limited cognitive skills. However, this student understand touch. A tight embrace and a simple rocking back and forth brought security and peace. What if we had a space where we worshipped together? What if we walked through life with our brothers and sisters who couldn't understand a sermon, but could connect to your presence?

There is a powerful story about communion and reflection time from Henri Nouwen's ministry. Leaders from all around the world would spend weekends with people who have disabilities. Most of these people had no clue who these famous persons even were. One of the wives of a pastor was there with other couples from her church. She remembers watching as Henri held the head of a young man who could keep his head straight, and gave him communion. She remembers breaking down, and as she was weeping, a young lady who couldn't communicate, and had the brain development of a 3 year old, just came, sat next to her, and hugged her. She recalls that being one of the strongest connections to Christ and community she has ever had.

What if our services included a time to weep, a time to hold the head of persons taking communion, a time to laugh, and a time to hug? What if our small groups didn't serve these people, but included them, after all they are our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Pray with me on how this looks on ALL levels of the church. How are we more inclusive in youth ministry? How are we more inclusive in Men's ministry? How are we more inclusive in Small Groups ministry? How are we more inclusive in worship teams? These are the questions I am praying about.

What now

I don't know the next steps fully, but I am praying and earnestly seeking Christ, however, I am not doing this idly. I don't think just praying is sufficient in pure exploration. Praying and taking action go hand and hand. I am asking you to join me, looking at ways for us all to include a population that is drastically underserved in our worship, in our service, in our small groups, in our churches.

I know I can't even comment on these issues fully. There are so many aspects, so many struggles, so many things that are wrong on both sides. I know there are always horror stories and exceptions. BUT it is a starting point. HOWEVER, I am not promoting your church leadership board is responsible for this. We all are, whether your job title has pastor or president in it. You are the church, it is not just your pastor. If you want to see change, you can't wait for your church, you have to be the church, and bring people from the church into this in a healthy, community building, and peaceful way. But one thing I do know, we ought to defend, include, and come to the aid of all our brothers and sisters in Christ.

I don't have all the answers (in most cases, I don't have any), but I will always remember when a mother of a child who is a person who has a disability said to me: "I don't care if you don't know how to act around my child, but I do care if you ignore my child because of that fear." It hit me hard, her dream was not that we had the answers, but that we would be willing to wade into this territory with her and her daughter.

Verses that put this all in context, that you should read:

Luke 14
Galatians 5
1 John (whole book)

James 1

James 2
Matthew 25
Romans 5
Romans 8


Part 2 of a population that is underserved will hit on Human Trafficking, widows, and homosexuals.

I am not sure if or when I will write part 2 (or 3 or 4), but I know this conviction on my heart is something drastically missing in most communities I am a part of. 

Comment your thoughts, or stories, or statistics!

This years partnership announcement, future posts, and odds/ends

I want to start this post with this verse, mainly because we should never do anything out of guilt, but out of love. Feeling guilty about what you were born into, or feeling down about the oppression/injustice doesn't change the facts. 

Romans 8:1-2

1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.

We should not be ashamed of our position in life, Christ has freed us from that guilt. 

Now, Christ is also calling us to live in that freedom. We have a chance to bless and care for others. This brings me to my partnership. Last year, we raised close to $3000. ($2200 for International Justice Mission, $740 for Compassion International) I was blessed to see how you all gave.

This year, I am partnering with an organization called The Dwelling Place http://thedwellingplaceshelter.org/home.aspx (you can also find them on FB). They are an organization who protects families and heal lives affected by domestic abuse by providing safe housing, Christ-centered programs, training in life skills and community education.It has been an honor volunteering with them.

They let me use some of my skills to paint, some construction, and do some minor maintenance. I am lucky and blessed they let me do so. (If you ever want to volunteer, let me know, we can get you plugged in, helping out, I will explain more later).

NOW, onto my the part of my partnership involving you all:

BY MARCH 4th, we want to fill my car. The middle schoolers will be having their spring party, and have been challenged; now I am challenging all of my friends to partner with the middle schoolers, leaders and I. If my car gets filled, we will start on another leaders car. If that gets filled, we will start on another car. We want to be a blessing to others.

Here is an exact list of materials needed:

-Paper Towels

-Toilet Paper

-Hand Soap

-Dish Soap

-Cleaning Supplies (Clorox wipes, shower cleaners, ETC)

Other Needed Items to add:

-Bus Cards

-Gas Cards

-Gift Cards to Cub/Target/Walmart/ETC

-Gift Cards to Home Depot/Menards

Not for my car but can donate:

-DON'T DONATE YOUR GARBAGE

-Furniture new or gently used

-Dressers/Bookshelves

SO, we have less than two weeks for the first mission of filling my car. But I am confident, you all will take a step up with the middle schoolers and me!

3 ways we are collecting:

1) Drop them off at church and fill my office, just say it is for Casey Hayden.

2) Bring them off on wednesdays for the next 2 Rush Hour  meetings (Middle School Youth Group)

3) I will come and get them from you (contact information below, and probably come with a middle schooler)

I am confident we can do this! Repost this, share with folks, do whatever you need. Add this to your list when you shop next! I want you to be involved! Feel free to also write a note of encouragement

NOW FAQ time:

Can I donate even if I don't have anything to do with Middle School Ministry?

YES!!! For sure! Would love that, and want you involved!

What are some other needs?

Babysitters, mentors, finances, and other things. IF you want, contact me, and I will shoot you the form they have you fill out, list some of your skills and how you can help. 

Can I volunteer some time to help using my skills?

If you have some skills in woodwork, plumbing, construction, painting, appliance repair, all of that. Keep in mind the sensitivity of this organization, and be willing to work with them and their needs. It is a beautiful thing using your skills for Kingdom Work.

Contact Information:

Cell: 651-470-4967 (Call/Text)

Email: chayden@fiveoakschurch.org

NOW, Let's FILL MY CAR!!!

_________________________________________

I want to also share about some posts I plan to write this year (in no order):

1) 3 Things I want to tell parents of youth (a few observations from a youth leader)

2) What we spent this year talking about with Middle Schoolers

3) Casey's Future

4) My prayer for the future church

5) Missional Living: Ending our inner Impala

6) Partnership Update

7) God isn't done yet

How can I pray for you:

PLEASE send me any prayer requests you may have. Would love to spend time in prayer with and for you!

Christ, Christians, and those Illegal Immigrants

I know this will anger some folks, but my goal is not to create any ill-will or frustration. Christians seem to mix politics and patriotism with God's Kingdom. That mixture can be dangerous. I want to preface these next statements by stating that I am pro-America, Pro-Jesus, and I constantly have our troops (family and friends especially) in my prayers. I am grateful for a nation that allows me to freely worship God, freely write about God, and freely critique, without judicial consequence, higher powers. I am grateful.

We have a massive problem in our country. We have an estimated 11.2 million undocumented and unauthorized persons in this nation. That means a lot of things. It means they are as stereotypes state: taking our jobs, distorting our culture, increasing crime, getting government hand-outs.

I 100% agree with my conservative friends; the government should not be taking care of these immigrants. The government should not be in the business of watching after our orphans. The government should not be running food shelves and giving out food stamps.

I agree with you. That is not fair.

The government should not be doing this, because we should; The Church should. My tax dollars should not be going towards this, but my personal money and assets, however, should. We as the church have a huge responsibility. We are to care for a lot of people. We are to care for prisoners, strangers, sick, thirsty, hungry, naked (Psalms 146:7-9, Matthew 25), enemies (proverbs 25:21), orphans and widows (James 1:27, Zechariah 7:10), foreigners (Deuteronomy 10:18), voiceless and oppressed (Proverbs 31:8-9), the list could go on.

So it beckons the response, why are many (obviously a broad stroke) christians so anti-anything to do with immigration. How do they balance America and God's Kingdom? Whose calling comes first? Again, I feel it is necessary to state that I am pro-America, and 100% grateful to be a part of this great nation. I just sometimes question where my true allegiance lies.

Three points that seem bizarre to me:

1) I often hear people say that the immigrants are taking our jobs. What jobs are they taking? Either way they are paying taxes, with no refund. It was estimated that the government makes roughly 11.2 BILLION dollars off illegal immigrants (Institute for Taxation and Economic Policy) in 2011. That estimate jumps up to $13 Billion in 2013 (Estimated by Social Security Administration) to payroll taxes and $3 billion to medicare (Harvard University study). Amos 5:10-15 is rather convicting at this moment. But it is bizarre to me that we are up in arms about immigrants taking our jobs here in America, yet we aren't fully up in arms that american companies are leaving to go to countries were labor is much cheaper.... Aren't those corporations who are persons taking our jobs too? So should the stereotype read "immigrants and corporations are taking our jobs" from now on? Obviously I am jesting, but someone challenged me with that thought, and I see their point.

2) We are seeing numbers surge of over 57,000, and climbing, undocumented (illegal) child immigrants. all of whom are unaccompanied. No parents. Orphaned. 30,000+ have been released to sponsors. President Obama is seeking $3.7 billion (Office of Refugee Resettlement) which will go to the entity responsible for them, the Department of Health and Human Services, who care for them after they are released from the custody of Customs and Border Protection. These individuals often enter our country, illegally, and are surprisingly under educated if educated at all.

3) Sex trafficking of minors and adults is ridiculous. It is estimated 14,500-17,500 (US State Department) are trafficked into the United States, which includes the recruitment, expliotation, smuggling, coercion and rape of children. These illegal immigrants are promised a better life and then transported into the US to be raped by americans. Even worse, many of these trafficked victims were held for ransom while they extorted their families in their native countries. The sickening part, this is just a drop in the bucket. This exploitation of trafficked persons (sex, slave, servitude, etc...) is increasing all around our world with an estimated 29.8 MILLION PERSONS being enslaved, trafficked and exploited. How did we let the wicked get such a tight grip?

Can you imagine if we all let go of the trivial fights like trying to reinstate a nickname and logo at a college or background checks on guns or defending Phil Robertson? Can you imagine if we used the $84 million dollars the Evangelical and Mormon churched raised together in 2008 to defeat proposition 8 in California for aftercare facilities for trafficked minors in the sex trade? Or creating a program to educate, cloth, house, and feed the children who are unaccompanied illegal minors? What if we all refocused our finances and energy towards building a future for our youth to be the generation that cares more about the ministry of reconciliation that we are called to in Corinthians?

So if I take verses like Psalm 82:3-4 "Vindicate the weak and the fatherless; Do justice to the afflicted and the destitute. Rescue the weak and the needy; Deliver them out of the hand of the wicked" as truth, then I must live differently if I am to believe what it says in revelations 21:1-8 will one day happen.

The writers of Psalms and Proverbs seem to be good at reminding me the truth about how God responds to the oppressors (including me as I so often stay neutral):

Psalms 72:4: May he vindicate the afflicted people, save the children of the needy and crush the oppressor.

Proverbs 22:22-23: Do not rob the poor, because he is poor, or crush the afflicted at the gate, for the Lord will plead their cause, and rob of life those who rob them.

Proverbs 17:5: He who mocks the poor taunts the Maker; He who rejoices in calamity will not go unpunished.

All of this means nothing if I don't have a faith in Christ. This isn't a moral calling, this is Christ calling the rescued to be rescuers. This is Christ calling Americans to use our influence, freedom, personal finances, and faith to rescue the destitute. This is what a relationship with Christ looks like. It is out of the pews, out of the small groups, out of the youth and children programs. My faith in God requires of me more than a moral aptitude test, it calls me into the darkness, it calls me into a deeper understanding. It calls me.

So the question still remains, what are we as Christians to do? First decide where you stand, and then get involved.

Three ways to get involved:
1) Immigration reform. I do know this. I stand for Immigration Reform. God's Kingdom does not know earthly borders. I am in the process of educating myself, learning what this means, learning how it could work. A healthy and efficient path to citizenship is what is best for our nation and our nations immigrants.

2) Organizations like World Relief, KIVA (small micro-finance business), World Vision, International Justice Mission, As Our Own, Tubmen, Merrick community services, Global Fingerprints, are just a small sample of organizations fighting to care for our immigrants, our trafficked, our widows, our orphans, our unemployed, our oppressed, and our future generations. Support and promote them as much as you support and promote Gluten Free Diets, Nike Apparel, Apple Products, Samsung Galaxys, TV shows, and any of your favorite restaurants.

3) I ask myself this all the time. Am I willing to open up my home? Am I willing to sell everything I have and give to the poor as the Lord asks of the rich young ruler in Matthew? Am I willing to allow Jesus to interrupt my life?

Again, this was not to say that anyone who has a differing opinion is right or wrong. This is where I am at, I am still learning, I am still growing. I value differing opinions stated in a healthy way. I also enjoy conversation. If you are looking for ways to get involved, I will surely help. Lets grab coffee.

Much Love,
Casey

Anger is exhausting

It is the most simple phrase, but yet one that seems to have drastic implications. "Anger is exhausting" serves both as a warning and reminder.

It is amazing how dangerous anger can be. Anger makes us all irrational. It makes us ignore the ones we love, it hides our beauty, it removes our focus, and it challenges our passions. Anger, which is truly the greatest hinderance to life, takes us off course. It is the perfect excuse to blame others for our life's direction. It is the perfect excuse to stop doing what you are good at. It is the perfect excuse to hate and divide. The problem is, this excuse gets you nowhere.

Anger splits us up. Why is that? Because anger leads us to hate. What is tragic is how hate robs us of loving someone. Anger makes us not even understand the other side or the totality of the circumstances.

I can't tell you how many times in my life I wish I followed this warning. I have been so angry at so many people, that I have often lost focus and constantly have no energy. Angry at friends, at family, at co-workers, at people who I don't even know. The weight of that anger is exhausting.

The problem is, life is far better without this weight. Anger is a burden. Anger is useless. Worst of all, anger is exhausting. Anger just exposes our deepest insecurities. It makes us fight for the notion that we are "right" and they are "wrong," and everyone should know. That facade eats at us. It breaks us down.

Anger beats you down.

I don't have much to say besides Anger just is not worth it. Sadly I find myself in that camp, and then I need to remind myself, it is not worth it. It is not worth it to get angry over politics. It is not worth it to get angry over theology. It is not worth it to get angry over the words someone said about me. It is not worth it to get angry over

I don't often tell people to be selfish, but be selfish when it comes to your anger. What I mean is, anger is not taking care of yourself, it is making you exhausted by expelling energy that you could use for other desires. Can you imagine how much energy and focus you could have if you just let things go.

This is a philosophy that I find in Philomena. Remarkable movie by the way. To just simplify it, there are two characters on a journey to find one of the other characters sons. The is also looking for the character. What happens is it is discovered that the nuns at the orphanage took and adopted the son out, and burning the trails so that no connection could be made. When it was discovered that a connection could have been made, but they hide all options, and the nuns gave the child up for adoption without the permission of the mother of the son, instead of being spiteful, like the other character was, she forgave, and I quote "I forgive you because I don't want to remain angry." The character on the journey with the mother was upset and could not believe how she could "simply" just forgive, and the mother replies "it is not easy." But she realized that she would NEVER heal if she did not discover a path without anger.

It reminds me of something I have heard my mother say, a very wise woman, "You must be so tired being angry all the time."

Being angry is a natural reaction, but what good does it do? It weighs you down, it makes you exhausted. I understand it is not ideal, but I am just sick of being exhausted. It is not worth it.

It just is not worth it. I am demanding my energy be spent elsewhere.



On a side note, I am not talking about righteous anger, that is different. An anger that causes us to fix something. That is a good type of anger. For example, being angry about the fact that innocent children are being sold for sex, and having that anger cause you to do something about it, that is powerful. But being angry because Barack Obama is president and your friend voted for him, that is not healthy. Or being angry that someone in your church has a different view on Homosexuality then you, is not healthy. Or being angry that someone has consistently wronged you, is not healthy. Or being angry that someone differs from your views on a lot of topics with viable arguments, is not healthy.

You.

I have chosen not to write for a long time. Many reasons, one was learning to tame my tongue. I am often a sharp and harsh critic. Many close to me can attest to that.

I have chosen today to not write a piece on the current events in the modern evangelical world, which will soon be out of the news and away from the public spotlight. I instead am going to write one item. One item that is one my heart, especially recently. Here is the quick backstory (as vague as I possibly can put it for their sake):

I have a close friend who was talking with me about a decision they were about to make. This friend, had talked to me about this issue in great depth, many times before. The conversation was interesting, partially because we were talking about a variety of items before this issue we were exploring. The issue came up, was carefully crafted in a way to display the presenter in a positive light.

Now, many of us have been in this situation. Someone is talking to us, admits what they are experiencing or doing or thinking about, and we immediately present to them our stance.

In this case, that is exactly what happened. I presented to them my stance, but before I got to the great heights of my infinite knowledge, wisdom and clearly years of experience, I was stopped, or interrupted (no worries, not rudely). My friend kindly said, "I know your stance on my choices, but what is your view of me? How do you view me now?"

I couldn't tell you how fast it clicked inside of me. My "infinite" knowledge, wisdom and years of "experience" which gave me obvious authority to speak on any subject, was immediately thrown away (it is odd how quickly you can be humbled, even if I wasn't humble). I knew, right then, I had a choice.

I could share my stance on the topic, or I could share my stance on them. I realized, this friend did not need a lecture, a tweet or post, on where I essentially fall. My friend needed to know where I stood with them.

I wish it had clicked years early when a good friend at the time told me something about his life, and instead of being supportive and loving, I instantly told him, I don't agree with your choice, and that I hope they get over this soon because they are wrong. Instead of choosing to process through what it means, reminding him that God loves him far greater than I could, or even just being their for him, I lectured him. Sadly this was before the world of social media, so my only connection was phone or AIM. It did not click to me then, that he just wanted someone to just be present and a processor, or more importantly, just someone who loved him, because years later, he gave up contacting any of us, and has nearly no support.

I am reminded of Jesus with the prostitute in Luke 7. I was not acting like Jesus, keep that in mind (nor rarely have), but in this story, one piece I remember clearly. Jesus could have chewed out the prostitute for crying at His feet. Jesus could have given her a lecture on why what she was doing was wrong. Jesus could have written a decree that stated that all prostitutes aren't allowed to live as long as they are prostitutes. Instead, Jesus (who actually lectures the Pharisee) calmly reminder her that she is already forgiven.

I wish this was just one time Jesus did this. Not the case. Jesus did this countless times; lepers, beggers, hemorrhaging woman, blind man, woman at the well.

Or take the parable of the lost sheep. One sheep out of one hundred strays, the shepherd goes after that sheep. Finds the sheep, brings the sheep back. In this parable, the shepherd didn't lecture the sheep on why straying is wrong, the sheep knew how lonely it was out there and why straying was not wise. The shepherd cares more about the sheep than the stance on why the sheep left.

A powerful set of verses are in Romans 8, that contends that NOTHING can separate us from God's LOVE. NOTHING (Done, Doing, or Will Do).

I am challenging myself everyday to show my stance on people. To show them my love.

I am applying this today, with the current events. I am not concerned about the stance on World Vision or Phil Robertson or Barack Obama or Climate Change. I am concerned about the person. I am concerned about the children in World Vision who are no longer sponsored because of a stance, children are the ones who lose. I am concerned about the people who aren't sponsoring them anymore because of their stance. I will attest to the fact that I do not care about the stance on the issue. I care about the fact that our world is in dire need of love, hope, justice and not a lecture from me. This starts by changing our philosophy to start with our stance on humans. We see this by caring about them; feeding them, clothing them, visiting them, educating them, fighting their oppressors, providing them with clean water, housing them.

So the question I ask myself is "What is my stance on people?" because I guarantee they know my stance on issues.

DON'T end up like me, declaring my stance on issues all the while ignoring people in those situations. Don't rob them of love, like I have on so many occasions. Healing those relationships are very difficult. I can only pray that to have that trust with them.

AS a side note, if you are no longer sponsoring World Vision, please let me know, especially if you are sponsoring a child. I will take over your sponsorship, or find someone who will. No ill will.